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William Faulkner

William Faulkner was an American novelist, short story writer, and poet. He was born on September 25, 1897, in New Albany, Mississippi, and died on July 6, 1962, in Byhalia, Mississippi. He is known for his novels set in the fictional Yoknapatawpha County, Mississippi, including "The Sound and the Fury," "As I Lay Dying," and "Absalom, Absalom!" Faulkner is considered one of the most important and influential writers in American literature, and he was awarded the Nobel Prize in Literature in 1949.

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Poll: 9 out of 10 Trump Assassins Say They’d Still Vote for Him

Randall 'fink' Finkelstein - 0
A new poll by the Palo Alto, CA-based Rundex Family Foundation reveals 9 out of 10 Trump assassins would still support him in 2024. Trump, ever unfazed, claims, "I love my assassins," and ridicules Kamala Harris for lacking the same devotion from her potential assassins. Data scientist Robert Colvin reminds us, “The data doesn’t lie."

Texas Officially Bans Vegan Gravy: Citizens Urged to Report Violators

Loretta Splitair - 0
Texas has officially banned vegan gravy. Under the Gravy Purity Act, citizens are now encouraged to report any plant-based saucery to local authorities. While the rest of the nation grapples with real problems, Texas is laser-focused on defending its traditional gravy—no tofu allowed. Get ready for the condiment cops!

Cats, Dogs, and Ducks Spotted at Ohio Kamala Harris Campaign Headquarters

Michael Stephen - 0
Springfield, OH, is in chaos as pets mysteriously migrate to Kamala Harris's campaign headquarters. Local conspiracy theorists cry foul, claiming everything from crisis actors to pet ghosts. Meanwhile, Haitian immigrants express confusion over the absurd allegations. As ducks unionize and dogs play security, the line between political circus and animal house blurs in this fur-flying election season.

Josh Hawley Defeats Fragile Masculinity by Staring into Mirror, Declares Himself Victor

Loretta Splitair - 0
Josh Hawley declared himself the victor in his battle against fragile masculinity after a rigorous 10-minute stare down with his own reflection. The Missouri senator, known for his “war on softness,” claims his victory is a model for all American men. The media, unsurprisingly, fumbled to grasp the seriousness of this latest conquest.

Mitch McConnell Pauses Mid-Speech, Believed to Be Downloading Latest GOP Talking Points

Randall 'fink' Finkelstein - 0
Mitch McConnell froze mid-speech, leading many to speculate that he was downloading the latest GOP talking points. While the media scrambled to provide anemic coverage, viewers were left wondering if the senator was buffering for new anti-Biden lines.

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Skydiver Caught by 737 Dragged For 200 Miles

Randall 'fink' Finkelstein - 21
A Manteca, CA man is lucky to be alive following an encounter with a Boeing 737.

Trump Tours Chemtrail Plane and Promises to Stop the Geoengineering Program

Michael Stephen - 1600
Former President Donald Trump inspected a chemtrail-equipped Boeing 767 at Andrews Air Force Base, vowing to dismantle the controversial program. Joined by Rep. Marjorie Taylor Greene, Trump aims to redirect funds to infrastructure and his border wall. The plan faces significant hurdles, including Congressional approval and Senate resistance, but anti-chemtrail activists are cautiously optimistic.

Family Cited For Viking Funeral on Local Lake

Randall 'fink' Finkelstein - 0
A local Norwegian family from the Cascade Shores housing development is in hot water for attempting to cremate a deceased relative on Scotts Flat Lake earlier today. The Barstad family recently suffer the loss of the family's patriarch, Norman Barstad, who had lived with the family at their Spanish Lane home.

Local Militia Attempts to Reopen Denny’s

Roy Riffle - 0
A Placer County self-proclaimed 'patriot militia' attempted to re-open a Newcastle Denny's restaurant.

Bilderberg Group to Meet in Sierra City in 2025

Randall 'fink' Finkelstein - 0
The annual private meeting of North American and European elites known as the Bilderberg Group announced this week that they will be holding their annual conference at Herrington's Sierra Pines Resort in June of 2022.

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