Washington, D.C.— Yesterday, Former President Donald Trump, flanked by his covert cadre of advisors, inspected a chemtrail-ready Boeing 767 at Andrews Air Force Base. The tour was part of his renewed vow to dismantle the controversial chemtrail program and redirect funds to infrastructure and his infamous border wall.
“Today, we put an end to the secret poisoning of our skies and turn our gaze to a future with better roads, a secure electrical grid, and a magnificent wall to shield us from Mexico,” Trump declared, punctuating his statement with a dramatic skyward jab of his finger, reminiscent of a child’s first encounter with a rocket.
Inside sources say that Trump’s new right-hand man, Rep. Marjorie Taylor Greene, known for vocal opposition to government overreach, will spearhead the effort to dismantle the chemtrail program. “It’s going to be a tough fight,” reported NBC’s Sharon McDonnell.
“The Deep State is determined to maintain the program, and Greene will need to strategically defund it, assuming Trump even becomes President again in 2024. And that’s a big ‘if.'”
Across the nation, anti-chemtrail activists rejoiced. Local activist Saihra Ramun expressed cautious optimism.
“Trump’s stance against geoengineering is a welcome change. I’ll be watching closely to ensure he follows through. Greene is a fitting choice to lead this effort,” Ramun stated via phone.
In typical fashion, the internet provided its own colorful commentary. One Facebook user, cloaked in anonymity, ranted, “Geoengineering has radiation with the alum. That’s not good if you don’t know or care since you lefties want death anyway. You people support pedophiles like Clinton. Fine folks, you are!! Haha!”
However, Trump’s bold declarations face substantial hurdles. Redirecting funds will require Congressional approval, a near impossibility given his current lack of presidential power. Even if he were to regain office, he would encounter significant resistance in the Senate, where support for geoengineering and population control remains robust.
Ultimately, it’s a steep climb for Trump and Greene, filled with bureaucratic roadblocks and opposition from entrenched interests. But for now, they’ve given the anti-chemtrail community a glimmer of hope—and perhaps some amusing fodder for their next round of online debates.
