Alternative
Ten Things You Can Do with All the Toilet Paper You’ve Hoarded
With the East Coast port strike resolved and no shortage of toilet paper in sight, many Americans are now stuck with a surplus of panic-bought TP. But don’t worry! From building cozy TP forts to crafting DIY wedding dresses, here are ten hilarious and creative ways to make the most of your toilet paper stash.
Alternative
Trump Promises to Make ‘Mr. Twitter’ Press Secretary if Elected
In true Trump fashion, he’s shaking up the White House again, this time by replacing the press secretary with Twitter! Or as Trump calls it, “Mr. Twitter" in his quest for “government efficiency,” Trump’s next big idea involves tweets, emojis, and Musk’s downsizing magic.
Alternative
Biden-Harris Admin Accused of Using HAARP to Blow Away Florida Voters
Conspiracy theorists are alleging that the Biden-Harris administration is weaponizing HAARP to control Hurricane Helene and suppress Republican voters in Florida. Theories of mind control, 5G nanoparticles, and chemtrails swirl, but Caltech astrophysicist Dr. Tral Aldrich debunks the claims, tiredly reminding everyone that HAARP is a research facility, not a joystick for manipulating elections or the weather.
Art
The Entire John Steinbeck Catalog Now a 5-Minute TikTok Video
Tom Joad stands in disbelief as his family’s struggle is transformed into a five-minute TikTok sensation. Their story, once defined by hardship and dignity, is now a viral meme, shared and forgotten in seconds. As the world scrolls past, Tom realizes that in this digital age, human suffering is nothing more than content for a blind and fleeting audience.
Food
Haitian Cat Allegedly Eats Springfield Trump Supporter
In Springfield, OH, Mittens the cat is under investigation for allegedly eating a Trump supporter after a heated debate over the 2020 election results. Outrage is sweeping certain political circles, with claims of a Democrat-led conspiracy involving weaponized pets. Meanwhile, sane locals are tired of the media circus and wonder when people will start focusing on real issues—like potholes.
Alternative
Alex Jones Claims Biden Conspired to Keep 20-Piece Chicken McNuggets Over $10
Alex Jones is back with a crispy new conspiracy: Biden’s colluding with Big Chicken to keep 20-piece McNuggets over $10, as part of a sinister plot to control the masses through overpriced fast food. He warns of the rise of nuggets as currency and a looming sauce shortage. You thought the economy was complicated? Think again.
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Chemtrails
You know they are controlling the skies. Here's the proof.
Ten Things You Can Do with All the Toilet Paper You’ve Hoarded
With the East Coast port strike resolved and no shortage of toilet paper in sight, many Americans are now stuck with a surplus of panic-bought TP. But don’t worry! From building cozy TP forts to crafting DIY wedding dresses, here are ten hilarious and creative ways to make the most of your toilet paper stash.
Biden-Harris Admin Accused of Using HAARP to Blow Away Florida Voters
Conspiracy theorists are alleging that the Biden-Harris administration is weaponizing HAARP to control Hurricane Helene and suppress Republican voters in Florida. Theories of mind control, 5G nanoparticles, and chemtrails swirl, but Caltech astrophysicist Dr. Tral Aldrich debunks the claims, tiredly reminding everyone that HAARP is a research facility, not a joystick for manipulating elections or the weather.
How the Deep State Sabotaged the New Reagan Biopic Film, by Loretta Splitair
The new Reagan biopic has reportedly been sabotaged by the Deep State, a powerful force that has long suppressed films promoting conservative heroes. Linking its downfall to past movies like The Passion of the Christ and Sound of Freedom, this investigation reveals how the Deep State has meddled in everything from The Last Temptation of Christ to The Beatles’ sudden fall from grace.
Alternative
Sat upright, raising a heavy fur muff that covered the whole of her lower arm towards the viewer. He then turned to look out the window.
Ten Things You Can Do with All the Toilet Paper You’ve Hoarded
With the East Coast port strike resolved and no shortage of toilet paper in sight, many Americans are now stuck with a surplus of panic-bought TP. But don’t worry! From building cozy TP forts to crafting DIY wedding dresses, here are ten hilarious and creative ways to make the most of your toilet paper stash.
Trump Promises to Make ‘Mr. Twitter’ Press Secretary if Elected
In true Trump fashion, he’s shaking up the White House again, this time by replacing the press secretary with Twitter! Or as Trump calls it, “Mr. Twitter" in his quest for “government efficiency,” Trump’s next big idea involves tweets, emojis, and Musk’s downsizing magic.
Biden-Harris Admin Accused of Using HAARP to Blow Away Florida Voters
Conspiracy theorists are alleging that the Biden-Harris administration is weaponizing HAARP to control Hurricane Helene and suppress Republican voters in Florida. Theories of mind control, 5G nanoparticles, and chemtrails swirl, but Caltech astrophysicist Dr. Tral Aldrich debunks the claims, tiredly reminding everyone that HAARP is a research facility, not a joystick for manipulating elections or the weather.
High Stakes News
And he looked over at the alarm clock, ticking on the chest of drawers. It was half past six and the hands were quietly moving forwards.
Area Man Discovers Chihuahua in Subway Sandwich
According to witnesses at the scene, Mr. Guzman screeched like a little girl upon discovering the friendly Chihuahua, which startled the Subway customers waiting in line and the "Sandwich Artists" behind the counter.
“Santorum Slips Out” Says Spokesperson
Former United States Senator Rick Santorum, an anti-women's rights and anti-homosexual activist, has suspended his campaign for the presidency citing some slippery details that he'd "rather not get into."
Satire Extinction Risk from ‘Big Satire’
Copperopolis, CA -- As today’s march of the ridiculous turning into the commonplace accelerates, a disturbing trend has developed: A lack of satirical...
Unexplained
It's here. It's strange. You want this.
Chemtrail Film Festival Coming To Nevada City, CA
The Chemtrail Action Network (CAN) announced the first-ever traveling Chemtrail Film Festival coming to Nevada City, CA this August. The film festival will be making its first stop in the secluded Sierra Nevada Foothills town for a 4 day run starting on the 14th of August and running until the 18th.
Self-Driving Car Totaled After Bigfoot Encounter Near North San Juan
When the Highway Patrol arrived on the scene, they found a mess of twisted metal and a little bit of hair.
Investigators Stumble Upon Secret Graniteville Bunker
This is where the adventure begins. The following is a edited recount of Moonash's and Mr. Wolford's unusual discovery. Residents of the usually private and esoteric Sierra Nevada foothills community didn't know about this.
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Other News
More Fazzle for your brain.
Alternative
Trump Tours Chemtrail Plane and Promises to Stop the Geoengineering Program
Former President Donald Trump inspected a chemtrail-equipped Boeing 767 at Andrews Air Force Base, vowing to dismantle the controversial program. Joined by Rep. Marjorie Taylor Greene, Trump aims to redirect funds to infrastructure and his border wall. The plan faces significant hurdles, including Congressional approval and Senate resistance, but anti-chemtrail activists are cautiously optimistic.
Chemtrails
Chemtrail Believer Bullied by “Math Thugs”
Mary McAlister seemed surprised that others took issue with her incendiary share of a billboard picture that warned people of the dangers of geoengineering.
National News
King George III Designates American Colonists as Terrorists
After years of resisting action, England's King George the Third has designated the American colonists as terrorists.
Satire
Local Militia Attempts to Reopen Denny’s
A Placer County self-proclaimed 'patriot militia' attempted to re-open a Newcastle Denny's restaurant.
Weird
Bilderberg Group to Meet in Sierra City in 2025
The annual private meeting of North American and European elites known as the Bilderberg Group announced this week that they will be holding their annual conference at Herrington's Sierra Pines Resort in June of 2022.
Satire
Man Falls Off Foresthill Bridge After Accidentally Shooting Himself While on Heroin
A Mokelumne Hill man is lucky to be alive after falling 730 feet in a failed suicide attempt.
Satire
Nevada City to Become Nation’s First 5G-free Zone
Nevada City, California will be the nation's first town to ban all 5G-related technologies.