Articles by

Randall 'fink' Finkelstein

Fink is a man of many words, and many web links. He likes to argue and seldom loses. Mostly because he’s well informed. And somewhat gassy.

Healthcare Execs Vow to Do Better By Building Bulletproof Boardrooms and Automating Claim Denials

Healthcare execs fortify boardrooms with titanium desks, deny claims faster with AI, and sip champagne on yachts, all while dismissing public outrage. Patients suffer, CEOs profit. Welcome to “healing,” corporate style.

Elon Musk’s Dept. of Government Efficiency Demands a $1 Trillion Dollar Budget

Elon Musk's Department of Government Efficiency shocks Washington with a $1 trillion budget request filled with outlandish items like laser-guided detectors and a morale-boosting Dogecoin fund. Musk's ongoing presence at Mar-a-Lago stirs amusement and mild annoyance, with Trump reportedly telling a waiter, "He's your problem now." Public reactions range from raised eyebrows to full-blown cackles in true Monty Python fashion

Comedian Tony Hinchcliffe Officially Hits Rock Bottom as Babylon Bee’s Latest Hire

Comedian Tony Hinchcliffe, infamous for his provocative MSG act, has landed a new gig with the Babylon Bee. Known for anti-LGBTQ+ and controversial headlines, the Bee embraced Tony’s ‘fearless’ style. His arrival, however, is unsettling fans who enjoyed lighter jabs. With his ‘Project Humor’ initiative, the Bee’s satire plunges to tasteless new lows, and even die-hard followers are shocked.

Kamala Harris Dances for Climate Justice—And Promises Manitoba Will Pay for It

Kamala Harris combined environmental urgency with a surprise dance routine at a Scranton rally, promising a “wall around oil fields” and entertaining supporters with the “Kangaroo Rat Shuffle” as “YMCA” played.

Trump Tells Coachella “The Enemy Within” Is Really Just a Bucket of KFC

In a rally for the ages, Trump stuns the crowd with his wild confession: the true “enemy within” isn’t foreign powers or political foes—it’s a KFC Family Bucket, and let’s just say, the aftermath is deadly. Is this his most absurd speech yet? Click to find out how fried chicken and flatulence took center stage.

Ten Things You Can Do with All the Toilet Paper You’ve Hoarded

With the East Coast port strike resolved and no shortage of toilet paper in sight, many Americans are now stuck with a surplus of panic-bought TP. But don’t worry! From building cozy TP forts to crafting DIY wedding dresses, here are ten hilarious and creative ways to make the most of your toilet paper stash.

Trump Promises to Make ‘Mr. Twitter’ Press Secretary if Elected

In true Trump fashion, he’s shaking up the White House again, this time by replacing the press secretary with Twitter! Or as Trump calls it, “Mr. Twitter" in his quest for “government efficiency,” Trump’s next big idea involves tweets, emojis, and Musk’s downsizing magic.

Iranian Leadership’s Sony PlayStations Reportedly Exploding

Iranian officials’ PlayStations are reportedly exploding, leaving the ruling class grappling with a new “crisis” while citizens endure far worse hardships. Whether it's Israeli sabotage or just bad wiring, the explosions highlight the absurd disparity between the elite and everyday Iranians. Spoiler: most Iranians don’t even know what a PlayStation 5 is.

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