Chemtrails

The new Reagan biopic has reportedly been sabotaged by the Deep State, a powerful force that has long suppressed films promoting conservative heroes. Linking its downfall to past movies like The Passion of the Christ and Sound of Freedom, this investigation reveals how the Deep State has meddled in everything from The Last Temptation of Christ to The Beatles’ sudden fall from grace.

RFK Jr. has made a shocking claim that he smoked chemtrails in the 1980s, adding to his growing list of bizarre confessions. From communicating telepathically with dolphins to convincing a bear cub he was its mother, his revelations leave the public both bewildered and amused. As he endorses Trump, it’s clear RFK Jr. is in a world all his own.

Former President Donald Trump inspected a chemtrail-equipped Boeing 767 at Andrews Air Force Base, vowing to dismantle the controversial program. Joined by Rep. Marjorie Taylor Greene, Trump aims to redirect funds to infrastructure and his border wall. The plan faces significant hurdles, including Congressional approval and Senate resistance, but anti-chemtrail activists are cautiously optimistic.

British heavy metal legends Iron Maiden are being investigated for illegal chemtrail spraying with the use of their customized touring aircraft, the ex-Air France 747-400 jumbo jet known as Ed Force One.

Sotheby’s stuns with a once-in-a-lifetime auction, offering the original MyPillow prototype—purportedly stuffed with the essence of the American dream—set to redefine luxury sleep and history, one overpriced, patriotically infused bid at a time.

In a surprise announcement, QAnon's stock skyrocketed over the past quarter.

A long-lost Nostradamus quatrain has surfaced, appearing to predict the rise of visionary entrepreneur Elon Musk, the force behind Tesla, SpaceX, and SolarCity. The quatrain, part of the previously undiscovered Centurie XII, Quatrain 87, references Musk's privileged upbringing, his father's emerald mine, and his groundbreaking ventures. As scholars race to verify its authenticity, this enigmatic prophecy has rekindled interest in the 16th-century seer and his cryptic foresight.

A North San Juan man has completed an exhaustive Internet study to reveal that humans have something called "Chemtrail Breath."