Nevada City, CA — Local entrepreneur Dolores Lana McKenna started her company, Conscientious Creams, after losing her financial services job during the 2009 banking crisis, or as she calls it, “the first of many government betrayals.” Now, with a booming business that she claims has grown 250% year-over-year, she has finally found the time to dedicate herself to what she calls her true passion: reminding the world that Obama was the worst war criminal in modern history.
“I’ve been able to hire 42 people to handle most of my business now,” McKenna told The Fazzler earlier this week. “So now I can focus on what really matters: waking people up to the horrors of Obama’s drone war and, you know, whatever Trump is doing. But mostly Obama. And the DNC. And those hypocrites who told me Biden would be different.”
To that end, McKenna is working with the Nevada City-based nonprofit People Against Obama’s Drones (PAOD) to distribute hundreds of jars of her organic, cruelty-free hand and body cream to Middle Eastern drone strike victims. Each 5-ounce jar, usually priced at $78 in boutique wellness shops catering to upper-income progressives with disposable income and bad consciences, is now being airdropped via parachute into Yemen and Somalia.
“We all need to do that thing that makes the world better,” said McKenna. “For me, that’s sustainable, organic, non-GMO, animal-product-free body solutions. We also don’t test on animals. All testing is done using my assistant’s son, Gerald. He’s a good sport.”
McKenna’s business, Conscientious Creams, also offers a variety of high-end services, including the ever-popular “Whataboutism Facial,” a procedure she insists will one day be available to drone victims.
“We’re already dropping hand cream in Yemen and Pakistan,” McKenna continued. “We’ve chartered four planes. The cases are dropped via pallets with parachutes into the most stricken areas. We do have plans to teach people how to do our special Whataboutism Facials, but at this time, we haven’t figured out a way to conduct proper outreach while still preserving our patented procedure. It’s a delicate balance.”
However, McKenna’s activism doesn’t stop at “love-bombing” underprivileged communities with artisan body butters. She also devotes 48 hours per week to educating the masses via Facebook, X (formerly Twitter), and increasingly, random YouTube comment sections, with a particular focus on liberals who still defend Obama.
“Obama was worse than Bush, Reagan, and Andrew Jackson combined,” McKenna said, her voice rising as if responding to a debate that no one else was having. “And the people who told me Hillary was better than Trump? Those people are the real fascists. I didn’t vote for Trump, okay? I was a Bernie supporter. But these neolibs? Worse than reactionary Republicans. Worse.”
Despite her insistence that she is not a Trump supporter, McKenna has been observed defending Trump against “MSM propaganda” at least once a day, arguing that Biden has been a bigger disaster than anyone expected, and regularly sharing Tucker Carlson clips with captions like “actually a good point.”
Her work is expected to continue for another six months—or until funding runs out, TikTok bans her account, or she gets permanently suspended from Nextdoor for accusing her neighbors of being CIA plants.
