Area Woman Buried By CVS Receipt Pile

Grass Valley, CA — Grass Valley resident Millie Franks was nearly smothered under 27  lbs. of CVS receipts on Saturday.

“I don’t know what happened exactly,” recalled Mrs. Franks. “I was just there to buy some wet cat food and hygiene products when the clerk asked me if I wanted an eReceipt or a printed one. I had no idea what an eReceipt was, so I asked for a printed one. Then she leaned over the credit card machine and punched on some buttons. I awoke 15 minutes later in an ambulance in the parking lot. They said I was knocked out by a huge pile of paper receipts.”

CVS did not immediately return calls to the Beacon, but store manager Ethan Williams did provide a prepared written statement.

“We strive to give all our customers the best check-out and shopping experience. This includes valuable coupons and offers as a part of our total ‘receipt package’. Although regrettably, anyone would become injured during our check-out process, we believe our customers prefer the yards of paper that represent the rock-bottom basement-level deals that our customers need to learn about after each purchase.

Ms. Franks will hopefully choose the eReceipt option next time. However, we have offered her a $25.00 gift card for her next CVS shopping experience for any inconvenience she may have experienced. [Not valid for alcohol, cigarettes, prescription medication or charcoal lighter fluid.]”

Paramedics estimate that Ms. Franks was buried under approximately 2 feet of register receipts and that she’s lucky to be alive.

“You know, this is the second call this month we’ve had at CVS. I know people are looking for value, but enough is enough when their lives are in danger,” commented Grass Valley Emergency Medical Technician Rachel Foster.

After spending two days in the hospital, Ms. Franks is recovering at home under the care of her physician. She is expected to make a full recovery.

Loretta Splitair
Loretta Splitair
Loretta Splitair is Fazzler's Media and Cultural Editor. She has written widely including publications such as Rolling Stone, The Atlantic and the Lady's Home Journal where she hosts a regular column on the ravages of Billy Joel's music entitled, Billy Joel is a Piece of Shit. Loretta is married to her second husband after her first died protesting railway expansion in Kansas. Please do not ask her about it.

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