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Articles by

Loretta Splitair

Loretta Splitair is Fazzler's Media and Cultural Editor. She has written widely including publications such as Rolling Stone, The Atlantic and the Lady's Home Journal where she hosts a regular column on the ravages of Billy Joel's music entitled, Billy Joel is a Piece of Shit. Loretta is married to her second husband after her first died protesting railway expansion in Kansas. Please do not ask her about it.
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Satire

Hooters To Open Gas Station in Roseville, CA

Controversy erupted in the normally quiet and conservative town of Roseville, CA.
Loretta Splitair -
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National News

Medicaid Recipient Looking Forward to Getting Back in the Workforce After Coma

Bed-bound 34 year old Bill Bucks of Topeka, Kansas says he's looking forward to getting back into the workforce when the Federal Government requires people on Medicare too seek employment.
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Satire

Area Racist Has “At Least” 9 or 10 Black and Jewish Friends

An area man wants everyone to know how he's not racist.
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Living

Critics Applaud Best Buy’s New “Buy the Fucking Extended Warranty ‘Cause It’s Gonna Fail” Campaign

In what many are calling both a stroke of genius and "straight talk" marketing, critics across the country and applauding electronics retail giant Best Buy for their frank new marketing campaign called "Buy the Fucking Extended Warranty 'Cause It's Gonna Fail."
Loretta Splitair -
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Satire

Nevada County Fazzler Sold to Grace Lutheran Church for $2 Million

The prestigious Nevada County Fazzler has been sold to a local church.
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Satire

Report: Flatlanders Start Most Nevada County Fires

A recent study funded by the Fire Safe Council and the city government of Grass Valley has determined that the majority of wildfires in Nevada County are caused by Flatlanders and stupid people named "Sal."
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Weird

Donner Party Family Buffet to Open in Truckee

Then Donner Family Buffet promises all kinds of authentic Donner Party Food.
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Living

Taylor Swift: Secret Neo-Nazi Operative?

The American neo-Nazi movement, which prefers to be called the "alternative right," has latched onto to the mega star whom they believe is the “Nazi Avatar Of The White European People.” However is there more to the story?
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Latest Posts

Elon Confirms Starship Failure Due to Use of Flex Seal Tape

Randall 'fink' Finkelstein - 0
A hilarious tale of how Elon Musk used Flex Seal tape on SpaceX's Starship in an outlandish experiment to cut costs and innovate faster. From late-night infomercial inspiration to a catastrophic yet entertaining spaceflight, this satirical article dives into Musk's unexpected partnership with the iconic adhesive brand and his unorthodox approach to rocket science.

CNN’s Dana Bash Still in Sibling Fight Over Childhood Big Wheel

Randall 'fink' Finkelstein - 0
A decades-old sibling feud over a childhood Big Wheel resurfaces every December 30th, blending humor, nostalgia, and Dana Bash’s quest for justice in this playful tale of enduring family dynamics.

AI Entering Its Depressing ‘Emo’ Phase, Experts Brace for Bad Poetry

Randall 'fink' Finkelstein - 0
Alexa refuses to bake potatoes, Roombas write passive-aggressive poetry, and Montclair’s poetry slam is under siege by robots. AI is growing up—and it’s messy, moody, and wearing neon emo bangs. Suburbia may never recover.

Healthcare Execs Vow to Do Better By Building Bulletproof Boardrooms and Automating Claim Denials

Randall 'fink' Finkelstein - 0
Healthcare execs fortify boardrooms with titanium desks, deny claims faster with AI, and sip champagne on yachts, all while dismissing public outrage. Patients suffer, CEOs profit. Welcome to “healing,” corporate style.

Texas Elementary School Under Fire for Staging Old Testament Murder Play

Loretta Splitair - 0
A Texas elementary school stages a shockingly violent Old Testament reenactment, sparking cheers from evangelicals, outrage from moderates, and a nationwide debate on religion, education, and the boundaries of public faith expression.

Most Popular

Skydiver Caught by 737 Dragged For 200 Miles

Randall 'fink' Finkelstein - 21
A Manteca, CA man is lucky to be alive following an encounter with a Boeing 737.

Trump Tours Chemtrail Plane and Promises to Stop the Geoengineering Program

Michael Stephen - 1600
Former President Donald Trump inspected a chemtrail-equipped Boeing 767 at Andrews Air Force Base, vowing to dismantle the controversial program. Joined by Rep. Marjorie Taylor Greene, Trump aims to redirect funds to infrastructure and his border wall. The plan faces significant hurdles, including Congressional approval and Senate resistance, but anti-chemtrail activists are cautiously optimistic.

Family Cited For Viking Funeral on Local Lake

Randall 'fink' Finkelstein - 0
A local Norwegian family from the Cascade Shores housing development is in hot water for attempting to cremate a deceased relative on Scotts Flat Lake earlier today. The Barstad family recently suffer the loss of the family's patriarch, Norman Barstad, who had lived with the family at their Spanish Lane home.

Local Militia Attempts to Reopen Denny’s

Roy Riffle - 0
A Placer County self-proclaimed 'patriot militia' attempted to re-open a Newcastle Denny's restaurant.

Bilderberg Group to Meet in Sierra City in 2025

Randall 'fink' Finkelstein - 0
The annual private meeting of North American and European elites known as the Bilderberg Group announced this week that they will be holding their annual conference at Herrington's Sierra Pines Resort in June of 2022.

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