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Articles by

Loretta Splitair

Loretta Splitair is Fazzler's Media and Cultural Editor. She has written widely including publications such as Rolling Stone, The Atlantic and the Lady's Home Journal where she hosts a regular column on the ravages of Billy Joel's music entitled, Billy Joel is a Piece of Shit. Loretta is married to her second husband after her first died protesting railway expansion in Kansas. Please do not ask her about it.
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Advice

How I Used ChatGPT to Replace My Husband, by Loretta Splitair

Who needs a human spouse when you have ChatGPT?
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Music

Robert Plant Caught With Nickelback Album

News spread quickly through the music world of what the music press called "Robert Plant's Favorite Band."
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Satire

KVMR To Run 24-72 Hours Of Continuous Lawrence Welk

KVMR hopes to offset what is perceived as a liberal-dominated format with Lawrence Welk marathons.
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Chemtrails

Let Me Tell You About Your Kids, Says Childless Man

Local technology worker Brent Underwood says he's "got the whole kid thing figured out" despite not having any children of his own. Mr. Underwood says he's got a unique understanding of child development and parenting wisdom from closely observing families for the past 5 years.
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Board of Supervisors Approve Clear-cutting of Entire County

In an effort to prevent a catastrophic fire incident, the Nevada County Board of Supervisors voted to clear-cut every tree in the county.
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Regional News

Anheuser-Busch InBev Pursuing Sierra Nevada Brewing Co.

In an announcement that is sending shock waves through the Micro-Brewery community, alcohol giant Anheuser-Busch InBev is attempting to purchase Sierra Nevada Brewing Company headquartered in Chico, CA.
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Editorial

Local Church Holding “How To Talk to Grandpa About His Racism” Seminars

A local church is working to reduce racism in the grandpa generation.
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Weather

Worst Place in the World Forecast

Today: Cité-Soleil, Port au Prince Haiti -- In the outskirts of Port au Prince, Haiti is Cité-Soleil (“Sun City”), a foul slum ruled by gangs and sitting in a pool of its own squalor. On a good day.
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Latest Posts

Elon Confirms Starship Failure Due to Use of Flex Seal Tape

Randall 'fink' Finkelstein - 0
A hilarious tale of how Elon Musk used Flex Seal tape on SpaceX's Starship in an outlandish experiment to cut costs and innovate faster. From late-night infomercial inspiration to a catastrophic yet entertaining spaceflight, this satirical article dives into Musk's unexpected partnership with the iconic adhesive brand and his unorthodox approach to rocket science.

CNN’s Dana Bash Still in Sibling Fight Over Childhood Big Wheel

Randall 'fink' Finkelstein - 0
A decades-old sibling feud over a childhood Big Wheel resurfaces every December 30th, blending humor, nostalgia, and Dana Bash’s quest for justice in this playful tale of enduring family dynamics.

AI Entering Its Depressing ‘Emo’ Phase, Experts Brace for Bad Poetry

Randall 'fink' Finkelstein - 0
Alexa refuses to bake potatoes, Roombas write passive-aggressive poetry, and Montclair’s poetry slam is under siege by robots. AI is growing up—and it’s messy, moody, and wearing neon emo bangs. Suburbia may never recover.

Healthcare Execs Vow to Do Better By Building Bulletproof Boardrooms and Automating Claim Denials

Randall 'fink' Finkelstein - 0
Healthcare execs fortify boardrooms with titanium desks, deny claims faster with AI, and sip champagne on yachts, all while dismissing public outrage. Patients suffer, CEOs profit. Welcome to “healing,” corporate style.

Texas Elementary School Under Fire for Staging Old Testament Murder Play

Loretta Splitair - 0
A Texas elementary school stages a shockingly violent Old Testament reenactment, sparking cheers from evangelicals, outrage from moderates, and a nationwide debate on religion, education, and the boundaries of public faith expression.

Most Popular

Skydiver Caught by 737 Dragged For 200 Miles

Randall 'fink' Finkelstein - 21
A Manteca, CA man is lucky to be alive following an encounter with a Boeing 737.

Trump Tours Chemtrail Plane and Promises to Stop the Geoengineering Program

Michael Stephen - 1600
Former President Donald Trump inspected a chemtrail-equipped Boeing 767 at Andrews Air Force Base, vowing to dismantle the controversial program. Joined by Rep. Marjorie Taylor Greene, Trump aims to redirect funds to infrastructure and his border wall. The plan faces significant hurdles, including Congressional approval and Senate resistance, but anti-chemtrail activists are cautiously optimistic.

Family Cited For Viking Funeral on Local Lake

Randall 'fink' Finkelstein - 0
A local Norwegian family from the Cascade Shores housing development is in hot water for attempting to cremate a deceased relative on Scotts Flat Lake earlier today. The Barstad family recently suffer the loss of the family's patriarch, Norman Barstad, who had lived with the family at their Spanish Lane home.

Local Militia Attempts to Reopen Denny’s

Roy Riffle - 0
A Placer County self-proclaimed 'patriot militia' attempted to re-open a Newcastle Denny's restaurant.

Bilderberg Group to Meet in Sierra City in 2025

Randall 'fink' Finkelstein - 0
The annual private meeting of North American and European elites known as the Bilderberg Group announced this week that they will be holding their annual conference at Herrington's Sierra Pines Resort in June of 2022.

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