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Articles by

Loretta Splitair

Loretta Splitair is Fazzler's Media and Cultural Editor. She has written widely including publications such as Rolling Stone, The Atlantic and the Lady's Home Journal where she hosts a regular column on the ravages of Billy Joel's music entitled, Billy Joel is a Piece of Shit. Loretta is married to her second husband after her first died protesting railway expansion in Kansas. Please do not ask her about it.
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Satire

BriarPatch Adds Roundabout Around Salad Bar

Grass Valley's BriarPatch COOP has installed a traffic roundabout around its salad bar to mixed reaction.
Loretta Splitair -
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Living

Christian Scientist Claims Being Christian is Genetic; Being Gay is a Choice.

A Liberty University 'scientist' who used 'God's guidance,' has determined that being Christian is genetic.
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Local News

Chris Hemsworth’s Car Breaks Down in Grass Valley

Chris Hemsworth's BMW broke down just south of Grass Valley on Friday. He was traveling with Friend David Spade to Tahoe City.
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Food

Chris Christie Closes Down Area Golden Corral

Christ Christie is back in the news today as reports came in from an area Golden Corral restaurant that the New Jersey governor had shut down the popular family-style buffet restaurant so he could dine in private.
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Satire

Satirical Site’s AI Experiments Lead to 420 Articles about Under-cooked Hot Dogs

The Fazzler's AI experiment takes a bizarre turn as it generates 420 articles about undercooked hot dogs, leaving readers perplexed and entertained by the nonsensical satirical content.
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Chemtrails

Local Researcher: McKinleyville, California Doesn’t Exist

North San Juan resident, part-time chemtrail researcher and amateur ionizing radiation hobbyist Skyy Wolford announced to a somewhat disinterested crowd out in front of the Sierra Super Stop that McKinleyville, California is an elaborate hoax and does not exist.
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Satire

The High School Project That Accidentally Powered Nevada City

Students at the Sierra Academy of Expeditionary Learning in Nevada City built a 100 foot Tesla tower as a part of a special project.
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Living

The Fazzler Salutes Our Heroes: Jerry Lewis Dead at 91

Jerry Lewis, the comedian and filmmaker who was adored by many, disdained by others, but unquestionably a defining figure of American entertainment in the 20th century, died on Sunday morning at his home in Las Vegas.
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Latest Posts

Elon Confirms Starship Failure Due to Use of Flex Seal Tape

Randall 'fink' Finkelstein - 0
A hilarious tale of how Elon Musk used Flex Seal tape on SpaceX's Starship in an outlandish experiment to cut costs and innovate faster. From late-night infomercial inspiration to a catastrophic yet entertaining spaceflight, this satirical article dives into Musk's unexpected partnership with the iconic adhesive brand and his unorthodox approach to rocket science.

CNN’s Dana Bash Still in Sibling Fight Over Childhood Big Wheel

Randall 'fink' Finkelstein - 0
A decades-old sibling feud over a childhood Big Wheel resurfaces every December 30th, blending humor, nostalgia, and Dana Bash’s quest for justice in this playful tale of enduring family dynamics.

AI Entering Its Depressing ‘Emo’ Phase, Experts Brace for Bad Poetry

Randall 'fink' Finkelstein - 0
Alexa refuses to bake potatoes, Roombas write passive-aggressive poetry, and Montclair’s poetry slam is under siege by robots. AI is growing up—and it’s messy, moody, and wearing neon emo bangs. Suburbia may never recover.

Healthcare Execs Vow to Do Better By Building Bulletproof Boardrooms and Automating Claim Denials

Randall 'fink' Finkelstein - 0
Healthcare execs fortify boardrooms with titanium desks, deny claims faster with AI, and sip champagne on yachts, all while dismissing public outrage. Patients suffer, CEOs profit. Welcome to “healing,” corporate style.

Texas Elementary School Under Fire for Staging Old Testament Murder Play

Loretta Splitair - 0
A Texas elementary school stages a shockingly violent Old Testament reenactment, sparking cheers from evangelicals, outrage from moderates, and a nationwide debate on religion, education, and the boundaries of public faith expression.

Most Popular

Skydiver Caught by 737 Dragged For 200 Miles

Randall 'fink' Finkelstein - 21
A Manteca, CA man is lucky to be alive following an encounter with a Boeing 737.

Trump Tours Chemtrail Plane and Promises to Stop the Geoengineering Program

Michael Stephen - 1600
Former President Donald Trump inspected a chemtrail-equipped Boeing 767 at Andrews Air Force Base, vowing to dismantle the controversial program. Joined by Rep. Marjorie Taylor Greene, Trump aims to redirect funds to infrastructure and his border wall. The plan faces significant hurdles, including Congressional approval and Senate resistance, but anti-chemtrail activists are cautiously optimistic.

Family Cited For Viking Funeral on Local Lake

Randall 'fink' Finkelstein - 0
A local Norwegian family from the Cascade Shores housing development is in hot water for attempting to cremate a deceased relative on Scotts Flat Lake earlier today. The Barstad family recently suffer the loss of the family's patriarch, Norman Barstad, who had lived with the family at their Spanish Lane home.

Local Militia Attempts to Reopen Denny’s

Roy Riffle - 0
A Placer County self-proclaimed 'patriot militia' attempted to re-open a Newcastle Denny's restaurant.

Bilderberg Group to Meet in Sierra City in 2025

Randall 'fink' Finkelstein - 0
The annual private meeting of North American and European elites known as the Bilderberg Group announced this week that they will be holding their annual conference at Herrington's Sierra Pines Resort in June of 2022.

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