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Loretta Splitair

Loretta Splitair is Fazzler's Media and Cultural Editor. She has written widely including publications such as Rolling Stone, The Atlantic and the Lady's Home Journal where she hosts a regular column on the ravages of Billy Joel's music entitled, Billy Joel is a Piece of Shit. Loretta is married to her second husband after her first died protesting railway expansion in Kansas. Please do not ask her about it.
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Living

Military Officials: “No Measurable Outbreak” in Cedar Creek, CA

Officials are urging calm stating that there is no "significant outbreak" in Cedar Creek, CA.
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Chemtrails

Area Woman To Film Her Harrowing Journey Across Kansas

Today, like many other days in Ms. Ramun's recent life, found our activist out in front of the New York Hotel on Broad Street with her trusty bull horn announcing to locals and frightened tourists that she was finally going to document what she is now calling "They Called Me A Dumbass".
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Satire

Local Researcher Claims Mars Curiosity Rover’s Photos are Fake

An area conspiracy researcher has discovered that several Mars Rover photographs are fake.
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Food

Illinois Farmer Donates Entire Unsold Soybean Crop to Local Food Bank

A Dixon farmer came up with a charitable solution for his unsold soybeans.
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Art

Review: I’d Rather Eat Nails Than Listen to Glass Houses by Billy Joel

Glass Houses features louder, not loud guitars, bigger drum mixes, and the same shitty lyrics that pollute the rest of his albums. And the cherry on top of the poop sundae is Joel decided to mix in a saxophone apparently to provide some glue between his predictable hooks.
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Earth News

Researchers Discover Ancient Petroglyph in California Lake

A group of archaeologists from Brigham Young and Southern Methodist University have discovered what appears to be an ancient petroglyph at the bottom of Scotts Flat Lake just outside of Nevada City, California.
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National News

Government Officials Concerned About New “Railroad Track Challenge”

Government officials have issued a warning to be on the lookout for teenagers laying on railroad tracks across the country. The phenomena, which has was started on the Internet, is being called the "Railroad Track Challenge" and dares mostly young people to lay on railroad tracks and get up at the last minute as a train approaches.
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National News

Despite Recent Claims, Shooting People Is Not Considered Satire

Experts agree that shooting people is not satire or free speech.
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Latest Posts

Elon Confirms Starship Failure Due to Use of Flex Seal Tape

Randall 'fink' Finkelstein - 0
A hilarious tale of how Elon Musk used Flex Seal tape on SpaceX's Starship in an outlandish experiment to cut costs and innovate faster. From late-night infomercial inspiration to a catastrophic yet entertaining spaceflight, this satirical article dives into Musk's unexpected partnership with the iconic adhesive brand and his unorthodox approach to rocket science.

CNN’s Dana Bash Still in Sibling Fight Over Childhood Big Wheel

Randall 'fink' Finkelstein - 0
A decades-old sibling feud over a childhood Big Wheel resurfaces every December 30th, blending humor, nostalgia, and Dana Bash’s quest for justice in this playful tale of enduring family dynamics.

AI Entering Its Depressing ‘Emo’ Phase, Experts Brace for Bad Poetry

Randall 'fink' Finkelstein - 0
Alexa refuses to bake potatoes, Roombas write passive-aggressive poetry, and Montclair’s poetry slam is under siege by robots. AI is growing up—and it’s messy, moody, and wearing neon emo bangs. Suburbia may never recover.

Healthcare Execs Vow to Do Better By Building Bulletproof Boardrooms and Automating Claim Denials

Randall 'fink' Finkelstein - 0
Healthcare execs fortify boardrooms with titanium desks, deny claims faster with AI, and sip champagne on yachts, all while dismissing public outrage. Patients suffer, CEOs profit. Welcome to “healing,” corporate style.

Texas Elementary School Under Fire for Staging Old Testament Murder Play

Loretta Splitair - 0
A Texas elementary school stages a shockingly violent Old Testament reenactment, sparking cheers from evangelicals, outrage from moderates, and a nationwide debate on religion, education, and the boundaries of public faith expression.

Most Popular

Skydiver Caught by 737 Dragged For 200 Miles

Randall 'fink' Finkelstein - 21
A Manteca, CA man is lucky to be alive following an encounter with a Boeing 737.

Trump Tours Chemtrail Plane and Promises to Stop the Geoengineering Program

Michael Stephen - 1600
Former President Donald Trump inspected a chemtrail-equipped Boeing 767 at Andrews Air Force Base, vowing to dismantle the controversial program. Joined by Rep. Marjorie Taylor Greene, Trump aims to redirect funds to infrastructure and his border wall. The plan faces significant hurdles, including Congressional approval and Senate resistance, but anti-chemtrail activists are cautiously optimistic.

Family Cited For Viking Funeral on Local Lake

Randall 'fink' Finkelstein - 0
A local Norwegian family from the Cascade Shores housing development is in hot water for attempting to cremate a deceased relative on Scotts Flat Lake earlier today. The Barstad family recently suffer the loss of the family's patriarch, Norman Barstad, who had lived with the family at their Spanish Lane home.

Local Militia Attempts to Reopen Denny’s

Roy Riffle - 0
A Placer County self-proclaimed 'patriot militia' attempted to re-open a Newcastle Denny's restaurant.

Bilderberg Group to Meet in Sierra City in 2025

Randall 'fink' Finkelstein - 0
The annual private meeting of North American and European elites known as the Bilderberg Group announced this week that they will be holding their annual conference at Herrington's Sierra Pines Resort in June of 2022.

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