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Articles by

Loretta Splitair

Loretta Splitair is Fazzler's Media and Cultural Editor. She has written widely including publications such as Rolling Stone, The Atlantic and the Lady's Home Journal where she hosts a regular column on the ravages of Billy Joel's music entitled, Billy Joel is a Piece of Shit. Loretta is married to her second husband after her first died protesting railway expansion in Kansas. Please do not ask her about it.
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Earth News

NASA Confirms Satellite Crash Into Underside of Flat Earth

In what some are calling an accidental and shocking admission, NASA scientists the Jet Propulsion Laboratory (JPL) in Pasadena have confirmed that a research satellite has crashed into the underside of the Earth.
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Food

Democrat Candidates Battle Climate Change at an All-You-Can-Eat Iowa Steak Fry

The leading Democrat candidates spoke about the dangers of climate change at an annual Iowa steak fry.
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Local News

Fight at Del Oro Theatre Was A Debate Over Chewbacca’s Gender

The altercation took place about 45 minutes into The Force Awakens when two local and long-time friends started arguing about the gender of furry supporting character Chewbacca. Lee Corneys of Grass Valley and Jerry Dodge were both taken into custody following the brawl and later released on bail.
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Earth News

Why You Should ‘Kombucha Douche’ Like Gwyneth Paltrow

According to a contributor on Gwyneth Paltrow's alternative blog Goop.com, you should consider a personal hygiene regime that the actress has used for years: the kombucha douche.
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National News

Jill Stein: Homeopathy a ‘Key Ingredient’ in Healing Russia Relations

At a recent rally, former Green Party Presidential Candidate Jill Stein announced to a crowd of almost 32 people in Asheville, North Carolina that she thinks homeopathy would be a key ingredient in her Russian foreign policy.
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Editorial

Sierra College To Offer Free Classes on Understanding Satire

Sierra College in Grass Valley is launching a course to help area residents who are struggling with satire.
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Satire

Stephen Hawking’s Tale of Two Cities Audiobook Deemed a Failure

Penguin Classic had no comment on the negative reviews other than to say that their actions on removing the audiobook are more than enough of an explanation. However, even with the failure of the Stephen Hawking venture, the book publisher is pushing forward with other audio talents.
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Satire

Grass Valley To Replace All Traffic Signals with Roundabouts

In a bold move, Grass Valley has decided to replace all traffic signals with Roundabouts.
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Latest Posts

Elon Confirms Starship Failure Due to Use of Flex Seal Tape

Randall 'fink' Finkelstein - 0
A hilarious tale of how Elon Musk used Flex Seal tape on SpaceX's Starship in an outlandish experiment to cut costs and innovate faster. From late-night infomercial inspiration to a catastrophic yet entertaining spaceflight, this satirical article dives into Musk's unexpected partnership with the iconic adhesive brand and his unorthodox approach to rocket science.

CNN’s Dana Bash Still in Sibling Fight Over Childhood Big Wheel

Randall 'fink' Finkelstein - 0
A decades-old sibling feud over a childhood Big Wheel resurfaces every December 30th, blending humor, nostalgia, and Dana Bash’s quest for justice in this playful tale of enduring family dynamics.

AI Entering Its Depressing ‘Emo’ Phase, Experts Brace for Bad Poetry

Randall 'fink' Finkelstein - 0
Alexa refuses to bake potatoes, Roombas write passive-aggressive poetry, and Montclair’s poetry slam is under siege by robots. AI is growing up—and it’s messy, moody, and wearing neon emo bangs. Suburbia may never recover.

Healthcare Execs Vow to Do Better By Building Bulletproof Boardrooms and Automating Claim Denials

Randall 'fink' Finkelstein - 0
Healthcare execs fortify boardrooms with titanium desks, deny claims faster with AI, and sip champagne on yachts, all while dismissing public outrage. Patients suffer, CEOs profit. Welcome to “healing,” corporate style.

Texas Elementary School Under Fire for Staging Old Testament Murder Play

Loretta Splitair - 0
A Texas elementary school stages a shockingly violent Old Testament reenactment, sparking cheers from evangelicals, outrage from moderates, and a nationwide debate on religion, education, and the boundaries of public faith expression.

Most Popular

Skydiver Caught by 737 Dragged For 200 Miles

Randall 'fink' Finkelstein - 21
A Manteca, CA man is lucky to be alive following an encounter with a Boeing 737.

Trump Tours Chemtrail Plane and Promises to Stop the Geoengineering Program

Michael Stephen - 1600
Former President Donald Trump inspected a chemtrail-equipped Boeing 767 at Andrews Air Force Base, vowing to dismantle the controversial program. Joined by Rep. Marjorie Taylor Greene, Trump aims to redirect funds to infrastructure and his border wall. The plan faces significant hurdles, including Congressional approval and Senate resistance, but anti-chemtrail activists are cautiously optimistic.

Family Cited For Viking Funeral on Local Lake

Randall 'fink' Finkelstein - 0
A local Norwegian family from the Cascade Shores housing development is in hot water for attempting to cremate a deceased relative on Scotts Flat Lake earlier today. The Barstad family recently suffer the loss of the family's patriarch, Norman Barstad, who had lived with the family at their Spanish Lane home.

Local Militia Attempts to Reopen Denny’s

Roy Riffle - 0
A Placer County self-proclaimed 'patriot militia' attempted to re-open a Newcastle Denny's restaurant.

Bilderberg Group to Meet in Sierra City in 2025

Randall 'fink' Finkelstein - 0
The annual private meeting of North American and European elites known as the Bilderberg Group announced this week that they will be holding their annual conference at Herrington's Sierra Pines Resort in June of 2022.

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