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Loretta Splitair

Loretta Splitair is Fazzler's Media and Cultural Editor. She has written widely including publications such as Rolling Stone, The Atlantic and the Lady's Home Journal where she hosts a regular column on the ravages of Billy Joel's music entitled, Billy Joel is a Piece of Shit. Loretta is married to her second husband after her first died protesting railway expansion in Kansas. Please do not ask her about it.
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Satire

Shroud of Turin to be Displayed in Nevada City

The Shroud of Turin, the linen cloth bearing the image of a man that some Christians believe to be the burial shroud of Jesus of Nazareth, is going to be displayed at the Nevada City Chamber of Commerce starting in January 2019.
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Chemtrails

Anti-Chemtrailers Quietly Applaud Ivermectin-based Cloud Seeding Operations

According to a memo, the DoD started Operation Horse Paste Earlier this month with the goal of "controlling the massive spread of the COVID-19 Delta variant."
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Weird

Grass Valley Woman Uses Internet to Self-diagnose Gluten Disease

Shelly Wagner seen here "researching" scabies and ebola symptoms
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Alternative

Steve Jobs: The Secret Satoshi Nakamoto? The Untold Story of Bitcoin’s True Creator

The late Steve Jobs, Apple's former CEO, is now believed to be the mastermind behind Bitcoin. A secret "Jobscoin Manifesto" discovered within the Macintosh operating system reveals his vision for a decentralized digital currency, raising questions about his connection to the elusive Satoshi Nakamoto.
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Food

Study: Bacon Can Prevent Heart Attacks

A longitudinal study by the Palo Alto-based Rundex Family Foundation sponsored by the Bacon Processors of America or BPA has suggested that eating as much as 1lb of cured, processed bacon per day might prevent a heart attack.
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Art

Priapic Environmentalist Bragging about the Size of His Prius

He wants you to look at the size of his Prius.
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Food

How To Ripen an Avocado By Shoving It Up Your Ass, by Loretta Splittair

If you have a love/hate relationship with avocados like I do, stick around. I have a tip that will not only help you with unripe avocados, but also make you the talk of the dinner table, of your asshole friends on Facebook or whatever.
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Weird

Trader Joe’s “Mini Joe’s” To Open Next to Mother Truckers

In a surprise to many Nevada County residents, Trader Joe's is opening a store on the North San Juan Ridge.
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Latest Posts

Elon Confirms Starship Failure Due to Use of Flex Seal Tape

Randall 'fink' Finkelstein - 0
A hilarious tale of how Elon Musk used Flex Seal tape on SpaceX's Starship in an outlandish experiment to cut costs and innovate faster. From late-night infomercial inspiration to a catastrophic yet entertaining spaceflight, this satirical article dives into Musk's unexpected partnership with the iconic adhesive brand and his unorthodox approach to rocket science.

CNN’s Dana Bash Still in Sibling Fight Over Childhood Big Wheel

Randall 'fink' Finkelstein - 0
A decades-old sibling feud over a childhood Big Wheel resurfaces every December 30th, blending humor, nostalgia, and Dana Bash’s quest for justice in this playful tale of enduring family dynamics.

AI Entering Its Depressing ‘Emo’ Phase, Experts Brace for Bad Poetry

Randall 'fink' Finkelstein - 0
Alexa refuses to bake potatoes, Roombas write passive-aggressive poetry, and Montclair’s poetry slam is under siege by robots. AI is growing up—and it’s messy, moody, and wearing neon emo bangs. Suburbia may never recover.

Healthcare Execs Vow to Do Better By Building Bulletproof Boardrooms and Automating Claim Denials

Randall 'fink' Finkelstein - 0
Healthcare execs fortify boardrooms with titanium desks, deny claims faster with AI, and sip champagne on yachts, all while dismissing public outrage. Patients suffer, CEOs profit. Welcome to “healing,” corporate style.

Texas Elementary School Under Fire for Staging Old Testament Murder Play

Loretta Splitair - 0
A Texas elementary school stages a shockingly violent Old Testament reenactment, sparking cheers from evangelicals, outrage from moderates, and a nationwide debate on religion, education, and the boundaries of public faith expression.

Most Popular

Skydiver Caught by 737 Dragged For 200 Miles

Randall 'fink' Finkelstein - 21
A Manteca, CA man is lucky to be alive following an encounter with a Boeing 737.

Trump Tours Chemtrail Plane and Promises to Stop the Geoengineering Program

Michael Stephen - 1600
Former President Donald Trump inspected a chemtrail-equipped Boeing 767 at Andrews Air Force Base, vowing to dismantle the controversial program. Joined by Rep. Marjorie Taylor Greene, Trump aims to redirect funds to infrastructure and his border wall. The plan faces significant hurdles, including Congressional approval and Senate resistance, but anti-chemtrail activists are cautiously optimistic.

Family Cited For Viking Funeral on Local Lake

Randall 'fink' Finkelstein - 0
A local Norwegian family from the Cascade Shores housing development is in hot water for attempting to cremate a deceased relative on Scotts Flat Lake earlier today. The Barstad family recently suffer the loss of the family's patriarch, Norman Barstad, who had lived with the family at their Spanish Lane home.

Local Militia Attempts to Reopen Denny’s

Roy Riffle - 0
A Placer County self-proclaimed 'patriot militia' attempted to re-open a Newcastle Denny's restaurant.

Bilderberg Group to Meet in Sierra City in 2025

Randall 'fink' Finkelstein - 0
The annual private meeting of North American and European elites known as the Bilderberg Group announced this week that they will be holding their annual conference at Herrington's Sierra Pines Resort in June of 2022.

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