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Loretta Splitair

Loretta Splitair is Fazzler's Media and Cultural Editor. She has written widely including publications such as Rolling Stone, The Atlantic and the Lady's Home Journal where she hosts a regular column on the ravages of Billy Joel's music entitled, Billy Joel is a Piece of Shit. Loretta is married to her second husband after her first died protesting railway expansion in Kansas. Please do not ask her about it.
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Earth News

Karl Pilkington Unaware He’s the Leading Prime Minister Candidate

The personality best known for his "performances" on the UK-based show An Idiot Abroad, is now the leading candidate for UK Prime Minister.
Loretta Splitair -
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Local News

Porn Version of “Left Behind” Less Amusing Than Original

A pornographic version of the popular 2014 Christian end times film Left Behind ironically is less amusing than the film it sets out to mock.
Loretta Splitair -
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Satire

Nevada County Prepares for Santa by Leaving Out Weed and a 9mm Handgun

An annual Nevada County tradition, started over 60 years ago, continues.
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National News

United States Government Builds Largest Sexual Aid

In a joint partnership between Huntington Ingalls, General Dynamics and the popular adult products store Adam & Eve, the United State Government has built the world's largest sex toy.
Loretta Splitair -
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Art

E! Entertainment Cancels ‘Selfies with the Kardashians’ After Two Episodes

Executive Producer Ryan Seacrest (b. 1974 Ryan Epstein) said he was disappointed that the E! Entertainment Network failed to pick up his latest show Selfies with the Kardashians, and criticized the television network for "not giving it a real chance."
Loretta Splitair -
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Satire

Atlantis Found at the Bottom of Lake Tahoe

The underwater "ruins" of Atlantis discovered on the Nevada side of Lake Tahoe.
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Weird

Nevada City Approves 2700ft 1.21 Gigawatt 5G Communications SkyTower

The project has an initial budget of 676 million dollars and will be paid for out the City's General Fund and bond measures on the next November ballot.
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Music

Mike Pence a Closet Iron Maiden Fan, Claims College Boyfriend

New revelations from an old "friend" of Vice President Mike Pence claim that the now ultra-conservative, evangelical Christian was a closet fan of the 1980s heavy metal band Iron Maiden.
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Latest Posts

Elon Confirms Starship Failure Due to Use of Flex Seal Tape

Randall 'fink' Finkelstein - 0
A hilarious tale of how Elon Musk used Flex Seal tape on SpaceX's Starship in an outlandish experiment to cut costs and innovate faster. From late-night infomercial inspiration to a catastrophic yet entertaining spaceflight, this satirical article dives into Musk's unexpected partnership with the iconic adhesive brand and his unorthodox approach to rocket science.

CNN’s Dana Bash Still in Sibling Fight Over Childhood Big Wheel

Randall 'fink' Finkelstein - 0
A decades-old sibling feud over a childhood Big Wheel resurfaces every December 30th, blending humor, nostalgia, and Dana Bash’s quest for justice in this playful tale of enduring family dynamics.

AI Entering Its Depressing ‘Emo’ Phase, Experts Brace for Bad Poetry

Randall 'fink' Finkelstein - 0
Alexa refuses to bake potatoes, Roombas write passive-aggressive poetry, and Montclair’s poetry slam is under siege by robots. AI is growing up—and it’s messy, moody, and wearing neon emo bangs. Suburbia may never recover.

Healthcare Execs Vow to Do Better By Building Bulletproof Boardrooms and Automating Claim Denials

Randall 'fink' Finkelstein - 0
Healthcare execs fortify boardrooms with titanium desks, deny claims faster with AI, and sip champagne on yachts, all while dismissing public outrage. Patients suffer, CEOs profit. Welcome to “healing,” corporate style.

Texas Elementary School Under Fire for Staging Old Testament Murder Play

Loretta Splitair - 0
A Texas elementary school stages a shockingly violent Old Testament reenactment, sparking cheers from evangelicals, outrage from moderates, and a nationwide debate on religion, education, and the boundaries of public faith expression.

Most Popular

Skydiver Caught by 737 Dragged For 200 Miles

Randall 'fink' Finkelstein - 21
A Manteca, CA man is lucky to be alive following an encounter with a Boeing 737.

Trump Tours Chemtrail Plane and Promises to Stop the Geoengineering Program

Michael Stephen - 1600
Former President Donald Trump inspected a chemtrail-equipped Boeing 767 at Andrews Air Force Base, vowing to dismantle the controversial program. Joined by Rep. Marjorie Taylor Greene, Trump aims to redirect funds to infrastructure and his border wall. The plan faces significant hurdles, including Congressional approval and Senate resistance, but anti-chemtrail activists are cautiously optimistic.

Family Cited For Viking Funeral on Local Lake

Randall 'fink' Finkelstein - 0
A local Norwegian family from the Cascade Shores housing development is in hot water for attempting to cremate a deceased relative on Scotts Flat Lake earlier today. The Barstad family recently suffer the loss of the family's patriarch, Norman Barstad, who had lived with the family at their Spanish Lane home.

Local Militia Attempts to Reopen Denny’s

Roy Riffle - 0
A Placer County self-proclaimed 'patriot militia' attempted to re-open a Newcastle Denny's restaurant.

Bilderberg Group to Meet in Sierra City in 2025

Randall 'fink' Finkelstein - 0
The annual private meeting of North American and European elites known as the Bilderberg Group announced this week that they will be holding their annual conference at Herrington's Sierra Pines Resort in June of 2022.

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