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Loretta Splitair

Loretta Splitair is Fazzler's Media and Cultural Editor. She has written widely including publications such as Rolling Stone, The Atlantic and the Lady's Home Journal where she hosts a regular column on the ravages of Billy Joel's music entitled, Billy Joel is a Piece of Shit. Loretta is married to her second husband after her first died protesting railway expansion in Kansas. Please do not ask her about it.
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Satire

Bill Gates Announces Plans to Reduce Population via Free Windows 10

The free, or as Microsoft prefers to call it, the "no-cost" Windows 10 upgrade started off as a voluntary program that only required that customers consent to downloading it. Also, consumers also agree to give up every last morsel or personal privacy to corporate America.
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Living

Area Rabbit Unimpressed by 1980s-era New Wave Music

An area rabbit has become extremely bored after listening to 44 year old Jamie Andrews entire Duran Duran music collection. His Rabbit "Vampire" has be Mr. Andrews' companion for over 2 years and up until this point, considered herself a "music eclectic."
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Satire

Pershing County Officials: 97% Chance of Contracting Herpes at Burning Man

The Pershing County Sheriff hopes to scare "burners" away.
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Local News

Study: Media Coverage of Mass Murders Is Fucking Depressing

A 4 year study by the Palo Alto-based Rundex Family Foundation of major television broadcasts and newspaper outlets has found that continual coverage of mass shootings and murders is leads the population at large to feel very sad.
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Art

6 Everyday Toothpaste Hacks That Fail to Prevent Mass Extinction

What does toothpaste and mass extinction have in common? More than you think!
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Paranormal

“Red Dog Jim” Ghost Spotted on Highway 20

The circumstances behind Jim H. Barnes' gruesome 1941 death are still a mystery.
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Satire

Hippie Kid Just Might Need a Bath

A Happy 6-year-old Daisy-Ann Macarthur might need a bath, or not.
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Regional News

George Jefferson Annoyed By Proposed New State

Harlem-born, African-American entrepreneurial success story George Jefferson is not pleased with the 51st State of Jefferson being proposed in Northern California and Southern Oregon.
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Latest Posts

Elon Confirms Starship Failure Due to Use of Flex Seal Tape

Randall 'fink' Finkelstein - 0
A hilarious tale of how Elon Musk used Flex Seal tape on SpaceX's Starship in an outlandish experiment to cut costs and innovate faster. From late-night infomercial inspiration to a catastrophic yet entertaining spaceflight, this satirical article dives into Musk's unexpected partnership with the iconic adhesive brand and his unorthodox approach to rocket science.

CNN’s Dana Bash Still in Sibling Fight Over Childhood Big Wheel

Randall 'fink' Finkelstein - 0
A decades-old sibling feud over a childhood Big Wheel resurfaces every December 30th, blending humor, nostalgia, and Dana Bash’s quest for justice in this playful tale of enduring family dynamics.

AI Entering Its Depressing ‘Emo’ Phase, Experts Brace for Bad Poetry

Randall 'fink' Finkelstein - 0
Alexa refuses to bake potatoes, Roombas write passive-aggressive poetry, and Montclair’s poetry slam is under siege by robots. AI is growing up—and it’s messy, moody, and wearing neon emo bangs. Suburbia may never recover.

Healthcare Execs Vow to Do Better By Building Bulletproof Boardrooms and Automating Claim Denials

Randall 'fink' Finkelstein - 0
Healthcare execs fortify boardrooms with titanium desks, deny claims faster with AI, and sip champagne on yachts, all while dismissing public outrage. Patients suffer, CEOs profit. Welcome to “healing,” corporate style.

Texas Elementary School Under Fire for Staging Old Testament Murder Play

Loretta Splitair - 0
A Texas elementary school stages a shockingly violent Old Testament reenactment, sparking cheers from evangelicals, outrage from moderates, and a nationwide debate on religion, education, and the boundaries of public faith expression.

Most Popular

Skydiver Caught by 737 Dragged For 200 Miles

Randall 'fink' Finkelstein - 21
A Manteca, CA man is lucky to be alive following an encounter with a Boeing 737.

Trump Tours Chemtrail Plane and Promises to Stop the Geoengineering Program

Michael Stephen - 1600
Former President Donald Trump inspected a chemtrail-equipped Boeing 767 at Andrews Air Force Base, vowing to dismantle the controversial program. Joined by Rep. Marjorie Taylor Greene, Trump aims to redirect funds to infrastructure and his border wall. The plan faces significant hurdles, including Congressional approval and Senate resistance, but anti-chemtrail activists are cautiously optimistic.

Family Cited For Viking Funeral on Local Lake

Randall 'fink' Finkelstein - 0
A local Norwegian family from the Cascade Shores housing development is in hot water for attempting to cremate a deceased relative on Scotts Flat Lake earlier today. The Barstad family recently suffer the loss of the family's patriarch, Norman Barstad, who had lived with the family at their Spanish Lane home.

Local Militia Attempts to Reopen Denny’s

Roy Riffle - 0
A Placer County self-proclaimed 'patriot militia' attempted to re-open a Newcastle Denny's restaurant.

Bilderberg Group to Meet in Sierra City in 2025

Randall 'fink' Finkelstein - 0
The annual private meeting of North American and European elites known as the Bilderberg Group announced this week that they will be holding their annual conference at Herrington's Sierra Pines Resort in June of 2022.

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