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Loretta Splitair

Loretta Splitair is Fazzler's Media and Cultural Editor. She has written widely including publications such as Rolling Stone, The Atlantic and the Lady's Home Journal where she hosts a regular column on the ravages of Billy Joel's music entitled, Billy Joel is a Piece of Shit. Loretta is married to her second husband after her first died protesting railway expansion in Kansas. Please do not ask her about it.
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Satire

Study: Cell Towers Kill Zika And West Nile Virus Mosquitoes

A massive new study has found that cell towers kill disease-laden mosquitoes.
Loretta Splitair -
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Chemtrails

Area Woman Cashes in on Chemtrail Clothing Craze

Ardwelia Kushborn established her company Signal Shield in the summer of 2011 to provide, in her words, "an innovative line of protective clothing designed for today's conscious consumer."
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Satire

Botham Jean’s Corpse Charged with Marijuana Possession

The Dallas district attorney has posthumously charged murder victim Botham Jean with marijuana possession.
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Earth News

Former White Stripes Drummer Meg White Join Rush on New Tour

Former White Stripes drummer Meg White to replace Rush's recently passed Neil Peart on drums for their upcoming tour.
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Local News

“A Chorus Line” Invades Board of Supervisors Meeting

The entire cast of "A Chorus Line" briefly invaded the Board of Supervisors chamber to perform an a heart-wrenching version of their popular "What I Did for Love" to a mostly indifferent, and some would say annoyed district leaders.
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National News

California Program Relocates Citizens to Idaho & Montana

An innovative State program seeks to help Californians relocate to other areas of the country. The California Department of Relocation, or CDR, was started by Governor Brown to help "people that want to get out of California, find suitable places to settle down."
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Satire

Board of Supervisors Declare Nevada City the Capital of Grass Valley

In a surprising and 4-1 vote this week, the Nevada County Board of Supervisors declared that Nevada City, henceforth going forward, is the capital of the neighboring city Grass Valley.
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Food

Procter & Gamble Releases Gluten-Free Tide Pods

Gluten-free Tide pods will be on store shelves early next year.
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Latest Posts

Elon Confirms Starship Failure Due to Use of Flex Seal Tape

Randall 'fink' Finkelstein - 0
A hilarious tale of how Elon Musk used Flex Seal tape on SpaceX's Starship in an outlandish experiment to cut costs and innovate faster. From late-night infomercial inspiration to a catastrophic yet entertaining spaceflight, this satirical article dives into Musk's unexpected partnership with the iconic adhesive brand and his unorthodox approach to rocket science.

CNN’s Dana Bash Still in Sibling Fight Over Childhood Big Wheel

Randall 'fink' Finkelstein - 0
A decades-old sibling feud over a childhood Big Wheel resurfaces every December 30th, blending humor, nostalgia, and Dana Bash’s quest for justice in this playful tale of enduring family dynamics.

AI Entering Its Depressing ‘Emo’ Phase, Experts Brace for Bad Poetry

Randall 'fink' Finkelstein - 0
Alexa refuses to bake potatoes, Roombas write passive-aggressive poetry, and Montclair’s poetry slam is under siege by robots. AI is growing up—and it’s messy, moody, and wearing neon emo bangs. Suburbia may never recover.

Healthcare Execs Vow to Do Better By Building Bulletproof Boardrooms and Automating Claim Denials

Randall 'fink' Finkelstein - 0
Healthcare execs fortify boardrooms with titanium desks, deny claims faster with AI, and sip champagne on yachts, all while dismissing public outrage. Patients suffer, CEOs profit. Welcome to “healing,” corporate style.

Texas Elementary School Under Fire for Staging Old Testament Murder Play

Loretta Splitair - 0
A Texas elementary school stages a shockingly violent Old Testament reenactment, sparking cheers from evangelicals, outrage from moderates, and a nationwide debate on religion, education, and the boundaries of public faith expression.

Most Popular

Skydiver Caught by 737 Dragged For 200 Miles

Randall 'fink' Finkelstein - 21
A Manteca, CA man is lucky to be alive following an encounter with a Boeing 737.

Trump Tours Chemtrail Plane and Promises to Stop the Geoengineering Program

Michael Stephen - 1600
Former President Donald Trump inspected a chemtrail-equipped Boeing 767 at Andrews Air Force Base, vowing to dismantle the controversial program. Joined by Rep. Marjorie Taylor Greene, Trump aims to redirect funds to infrastructure and his border wall. The plan faces significant hurdles, including Congressional approval and Senate resistance, but anti-chemtrail activists are cautiously optimistic.

Family Cited For Viking Funeral on Local Lake

Randall 'fink' Finkelstein - 0
A local Norwegian family from the Cascade Shores housing development is in hot water for attempting to cremate a deceased relative on Scotts Flat Lake earlier today. The Barstad family recently suffer the loss of the family's patriarch, Norman Barstad, who had lived with the family at their Spanish Lane home.

Local Militia Attempts to Reopen Denny’s

Roy Riffle - 0
A Placer County self-proclaimed 'patriot militia' attempted to re-open a Newcastle Denny's restaurant.

Bilderberg Group to Meet in Sierra City in 2025

Randall 'fink' Finkelstein - 0
The annual private meeting of North American and European elites known as the Bilderberg Group announced this week that they will be holding their annual conference at Herrington's Sierra Pines Resort in June of 2022.

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