Colonel Sanders Found Alive in a Grass Valley KFC Enjoying a 3 Piece Meal

A younger, more hipster version of Colonel Sanders was spotted at the Grass Valley KFC enjoying a 3 piece meal. Source:
A younger, more hipster version of Colonel Sanders was spotted at the Grass Valley KFC enjoying a 3 piece meal. Source: Jessica Sailor

Grass Valley, CA — Even though Harland David Sanders, better known as KFC’s Colonel Sanders, has been presumed dead for over 36 years, a keen local woman of 3 has snapped a picture of what appears to be a younger, hipster version of the king of fried chicken. Jessica Sailor had just stopped in to the Nevada City Highway KFC to pick up dinner for her family around 5 pm last night. It was then that she saw what she believed to be none other than Colonel Sanders enjoying a 3 piece original recipe meal.

“I couldn’t believe my eyes,” said an excited Ms. Sailor as she rummaged through her photos on her smart phone. “I went in to get a bucket of chicken, and there he was. I even hollered at him ‘hey Colonel’ and he look right at me. But he didn’t seem very happy. He was grumbling about how the gravy lacked nutrition and tasted like wall paper paste. I just left him alone.”

Although there were no other customers in the restaurant at the time to confirm this sighting, The Fazzler’s forensic team has been able to verify that her photo is not doctored and authentic.

Loretta Splitair
Loretta Splitair
Loretta Splitair is Fazzler's Media and Cultural Editor. She has written widely including publications such as Rolling Stone, The Atlantic and the Lady's Home Journal where she hosts a regular column on the ravages of Billy Joel's music entitled, Billy Joel is a Piece of Shit. Loretta is married to her second husband after her first died protesting railway expansion in Kansas. Please do not ask her about it.

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