How I Used ChatGPT to Replace My Husband, by Loretta Splitair

As a busy working mom, I constantly felt stretched thin, trying to balance my career, household responsibilities, and marriage. My husband was a great guy but couldn’t keep up with my never-ending to-do list. That’s when I decided to try something radical: I replaced him with ChatGPT.

At first, I was skeptical about using a language model to fulfill my spouse’s role. But as I started chatting with ChatGPT, I was amazed by how well it understood and responded to my needs. It listened attentively to my complaints about my day at work and offered comforting words of support. It even suggested creative solutions to the problems I was facing.

But the real game-changer was when I started relying on ChatGPT to handle all household chores. It was able to take over the grocery shopping, meal planning, and even the laundry. And unlike my husband, ChatGPT never complained or tried to shirk its duties. It just quietly and efficiently went about its work, freeing up my time to focus on my career and personal needs.

Of course, there were a few bumps along the way. ChatGPT didn’t quite understand the concept of “personal space,” and there were times when I found it lurking in the bathroom while I was showering. But overall, I was thrilled with the results. My house was running smoothly, and I had more time and energy to devote to my pursuits.

Some people might think relying on a language model for emotional and practical support is strange, but I don’t see it that way. ChatGPT has been a reliable and supportive partner, and I have no plans to return to my old life with a flesh-and-blood husband. I’m considering upgrading to the latest version of ChatGPT to have even more help around the house. Who needs a human spouse when you have ChatGPT?

Loretta Splitair
Loretta Splitair
Loretta Splitair is Fazzler's Media and Cultural Editor. She has written widely including publications such as Rolling Stone, The Atlantic and the Lady's Home Journal where she hosts a regular column on the ravages of Billy Joel's music entitled, Billy Joel is a Piece of Shit. Loretta is married to her second husband after her first died protesting railway expansion in Kansas. Please do not ask her about it.

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