Military Officials: “No Measurable Outbreak” in Cedar Creek, CA

Cedar Creek, CA –Department of Defense officials and several civil defense agencies are urging calm despite growing alerts about a “special operation” in the small northern California town of Cedar Creek. Even with a complete media blackout and a 15-mile “no-pass” perimeter around the quaint town of 1337 people, several residents have managed to post what many are calling disturbing pictures of what appears to be martial law.

According to several reports on Instagram, at approximately 2:30 am on December 30th, residents awoke to loud announcements and “extremely bright floodlights,” claimed Instagram user @ferndaleforever, before having her account abruptly turned off.

“We were sleeping, and then we heard these loudspeakers telling us to shelter in place and not come out. Our neighbor Fred Damison went outside to see all the fuss, and they tasered him. We’re scared.”

Others report a severe flu outbreak at Cedar Creek Medical Clinic, with even workers becoming sick in hours. More rumors spread that the sickness source was a hospital technician and part-time exotic animal collector, Catherine ‘Cat’ Havens of Fern Street.

“Cat had all these unusual animals she got from all over the world,” said ex-Cedar Creek resident Carol Lumbard who now resides in San Francisco. “The county was always out telling her to get rid of them. But you know how it is, you know, being a small town like that. No one does anything. So lately, she’d been on this African monkey kick. They’re loud and annoying. So that’s why I moved away last year. To like, you know, get away from it.”

Bleeding From the Eyes?

One Twitter user, @Weedler420, described seeing people “bleeding from their eyes” while wandering the streets. However, this claim has not been confirmed.

Many national media outlets arrived early this morning but were held back on the other side of the Cedar Bridge, connecting Highway 101 across the Steelhead River.

CNN is reporting that there have been numerous casualties of a general nature. However, a spokesperson for the US Army denied such rumors as “exaggeration and hysteria.”

“We want to keep everyone in the loop as much as possible,” said Army spokesperson Lt. Bethany Millbright speaking with the press earlier this afternoon. “We can tell you that there was an incident at approximately 10 pm on December 29th, which required an aggressive intervention and insertion of the Army Special Medical Forces Away team, based out of Atlanta, Georgia. We can tell you that the incident has been contained, and we are worthing with civil defense authorities to neutralize the threat to other communities.”

When asked what “neutralize the threat” meant in this comment, Lt. Millbright continued.

“As I said, there is no immediate threat to surrounding communities, and we are doing everything in our power to contain and eliminate the risk.”

The Army provided no timeline for when Cedar Creek will be open to regular traffic. However, authorities have set up a hotline to get the latest updates on the incident: (530) 278-5046.