Plastic Bag Ban Threatens Garbage Patch Vortex, Organizer Says

Angela Hansen organized the grassroots effort to save the Garbage Patch
Angela Hansen organized the grassroots effort to save the Garbage Vortex

“This travesty will deprive what is clearly a historical treasure of the 21st century of the grocery bags of close to 100,000 people. We can’t let that happen.” said Ms. Hansen in a The Fazzler telephone interview. “How will those that come generations after us know how we transported goods from trade centers to our homes?”

While most residents support the organization (known as the GPGPPS) there are naysayers who feel the organization is way off base.

“What a bunch of litter-loving idiots.” said a frustrated Leo Koneko of Nevada City. “I’ve been reporting every store that doesn’t comply with the ban-how hard is it to bring your own bag to the store to stop polluting the planet?”

Ms. Hansen and the GPGPPS made a statement in regard to this accusation last week, stating “The Great Pacific Garbage Patch is a part of our beautiful world, serving as home to countless organisms and a resting place for traveling sea birds-therefore it deserves all the preservation efforts afforded to any other wonder residing on our Mother Earth.”

Violet Matenapolis
Violet Matenapolishttps://www.facebook.com/violet.matenapolis
Born Alma Greenwalt in Modesto, California Violet Matenapolis changed her first name after leaving home at the age of 17 to make her debut in Hollywood as a dancer. She fell into journalism by accident when her first husband, newspaper mogul Victor Matenapolis, discovered her scathing review of a play she had auditioned for scribbled on the back of a grocery list and put her to work. 5 years into their marriage, Victor was tragically killed in a freak accident while cleaning the tank of their beloved python, Stella. Her finger relentlessly on the pulse of what's hot in popular culture, Ms. Matenapolis spends the majority of her time hunched in the corner of any drinking establishment that offers "signature cocktails", feverishly hunting down stories from the darker recesses of the internet.

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