Worst Place in the World Forecast

drunk-kid
The studying habits of a typical Chico State student

Chico, CA Don’t say we didn’t warn you, but if you’re living in Chico, CA or just traveling there, be prepared for a heat like none you’ve experienced before at a whopping 105 degrees Fahrenheit.  It’s like this all year around. Rumor has it they manufacture heat in Chico, and then export it to other parts of the country. It’s a long, hot way up Highway 99 to Chico. No, that’s not an Eagles song, that what it’s like driving there, Nevada County brethren. So bring light clothing, check your air conditioners, and for God’s sake, bring beer. And lots of it. Because that what powers everything in Chico. Beer. Just ask any Chico State student, and they’ll tell you (or more than likely ask you for) a Cold Beer.

solo
Available at the Associated Students Bookstore

Other things to bring:

  • Red Solo Cups (for Beer)
  • An Empty Keg (for Beer)
  • A Fake ID (again, for Beer if you are under age)
  • Strong Rope (for spelunking down the side of Whitney Hall after drinking Beer)

Generally on hot days like this, The Fazzler recommends staying out of bars lest one get stuck to the sticky-you guessed it-beer soaked floors.

[php snippet=9]

Loretta Splitair
Loretta Splitair
Loretta Splitair is Fazzler's Media and Cultural Editor. She has written widely including publications such as Rolling Stone, The Atlantic and the Lady's Home Journal where she hosts a regular column on the ravages of Billy Joel's music entitled, Billy Joel is a Piece of Shit. Loretta is married to her second husband after her first died protesting railway expansion in Kansas. Please do not ask her about it.

More from author

Related posts

Advertisment

Latest posts

Elon Confirms Starship Failure Due to Use of Flex Seal Tape

A hilarious tale of how Elon Musk used Flex Seal tape on SpaceX's Starship in an outlandish experiment to cut costs and innovate faster. From late-night infomercial inspiration to a catastrophic yet entertaining spaceflight, this satirical article dives into Musk's unexpected partnership with the iconic adhesive brand and his unorthodox approach to rocket science.

CNN’s Dana Bash Still in Sibling Fight Over Childhood Big Wheel

A decades-old sibling feud over a childhood Big Wheel resurfaces every December 30th, blending humor, nostalgia, and Dana Bash’s quest for justice in this playful tale of enduring family dynamics.

AI Entering Its Depressing ‘Emo’ Phase, Experts Brace for Bad Poetry

Alexa refuses to bake potatoes, Roombas write passive-aggressive poetry, and Montclair’s poetry slam is under siege by robots. AI is growing up—and it’s messy, moody, and wearing neon emo bangs. Suburbia may never recover.