Worst Place in the World Forecast

Come to the Fountains and be miserable

The Fountains Roseville, CA Today’s forecast for the Fountains in Roseville, CA is miserably hot for January.  Like 125 degrees Fahrenheit. But it’s always miserable there. If traveling to the Fountains, be sure to dress appropriately in your expensive knock-off boutique linen attire, and as always, make sure your spoiled and mouthy kids are dressed to show the world “I live in Roseville, and you don’t.” There is plenty of parking for your monster SUV, but please, understand your place. Nevada County residents, please do not park your minivan next to the Mercedes and BMW SUVs. It’s against the law in Roseville. Water-bottle sprayers to keep cool aren’t necessary folks, as the Fountains has a ridiculously awesome fountain (that’s why it’s called the Fountains!).

Note: this is Roseville not North San Juan folks, so please keep your kids out of the fountain.

Loretta Splitair
Loretta Splitair
Loretta Splitair is Fazzler's Media and Cultural Editor. She has written widely including publications such as Rolling Stone, The Atlantic and the Lady's Home Journal where she hosts a regular column on the ravages of Billy Joel's music entitled, Billy Joel is a Piece of Shit. Loretta is married to her second husband after her first died protesting railway expansion in Kansas. Please do not ask her about it.

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