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Worst Place in the World Forecast

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Loretta Splitair
Loretta Splitair
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It's like a rummage sale in Yuba today, except everything is blown to bits.
It’s like a rummage sale in Juba today, except everything is blown to bits.

Juba, South Sudan — Water will fall from the skies like rocket-propelled rains in the Capital City of South Sudan. Temperatures will rise to a balmy 76 degrees F followed by a more than likely 3 year, civilization-ending drought.

Rebel forces have decided to take a day off from their siege of the city, but don’t fret terrified people of Juba, there is plenty of George Clooney and Bono aid coming your way!

For Nevada County Residents traveling to Juba, unlike Chico, CA and its insatiable desire for beer, South Sudan has absolutely nothing to drink. Not even for urine therapy good people of Nevada County. So bring lots of water and make sure you bring your Kevlar vests.

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Loretta Splitair
Loretta Splitair
Loretta Splitair is Fazzler's Media and Cultural Editor. She has written widely including publications such as Rolling Stone, The Atlantic and the Lady's Home Journal where she hosts a regular column on the ravages of Billy Joel's music entitled, Billy Joel is a Piece of Shit. Loretta is married to her second husband after her first died protesting railway expansion in Kansas. Please do not ask her about it.

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