Who Said It: Donald Trump or Jesus Christ?
- Tags
- Trump
Previous article
Jon Reremy, PhD
When Jon was a little bitty baby his mama would rock him in the cradle in the old cotton fields where he's from. Growing up in the deep south, he learned to take a punch, a skill he carries with him to this day and looks to pass on to future generations of Reremies. After the tragic monster truck accident that claimed the life of his latest wife, all pending charges were dropped, leaving Jon to pursue his dream of marrying someone younger, hotter, and dirtier. As his hunt continues, Jon lurks around the local junior college, where he hopes to earn his doctorate by attending several classes a month, that he may one day stop lying about having one. When he's not studying or leching, Jon maintains an active television-viewing schedule. On the rare occasion inspiration strikes, he strikes back.
More from author
Earth News
Starfleet Cancels Plans for San Francisco-Based Headquarters
Authorities speaking for the space research and exploration organization Starfleet have confirmed a long-rumored decision to postpone construction of the San Francisco-based Starfleet Academy.
National News
Nation Shocked at Ted Cruz Mistress Accusations
Recent rumors of Republican presidential candidate Ted Cruz's infidelity have sparked shock and confusion among voters across the political spectrum.
Food
Mexico Warns Citizens Against Drinking American Tap Water
The Mexican government issued a statement this morning to its citizens traveling abroad in the United States, warning them to avoid drinking tap water.
Related posts
Alternative
Ten Things You Can Do with All the Toilet Paper You’ve Hoarded
With the East Coast port strike resolved and no shortage of toilet paper in sight, many Americans are now stuck with a surplus of panic-bought TP. But don’t worry! From building cozy TP forts to crafting DIY wedding dresses, here are ten hilarious and creative ways to make the most of your toilet paper stash.
Advertisment
Latest posts
AI Entering Its Depressing ‘Emo’ Phase, Experts Brace for Bad Poetry
Alexa refuses to bake potatoes, Roombas write passive-aggressive poetry, and Montclair’s poetry slam is under siege by robots. AI is growing up—and it’s messy, moody, and wearing neon emo bangs. Suburbia may never recover.
Healthcare Execs Vow to Do Better By Building Bulletproof Boardrooms and Automating Claim Denials
Healthcare execs fortify boardrooms with titanium desks, deny claims faster with AI, and sip champagne on yachts, all while dismissing public outrage. Patients suffer, CEOs profit. Welcome to “healing,” corporate style.
Texas Elementary School Under Fire for Staging Old Testament Murder Play
A Texas elementary school stages a shockingly violent Old Testament reenactment, sparking cheers from evangelicals, outrage from moderates, and a nationwide debate on religion, education, and the boundaries of public faith expression.