The 20 Best Places To Move If You’re A Racist
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Loretta Splitair
Loretta Splitair is Gish Gallop's Media and Cultural Editor. She has written widely including publications such as Rolling Stone, The Atlantic and the Lady's Home Journal where she hosts a regular column on the ravages of Billy Joel's music entitled, Billy Joel is a Piece of Shit. Loretta is married to her second husband after her first died protesting railway expansion in Kansas. Please do not ask her about it.
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Music
The Fazzler Review: Fear Inoculum by Tool — Or, How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Hype
Can Tool’s Fear Inoculum live up to its labyrinthine lyrics and technical bravado, or is the fanbase’s fervor and critics' praise a testament to rock’s most elaborate inside joke?
Living
Metallica’s James Hetfield Celebrates a PhD in Astrophysics
Metallica heavy metal guitarist and lead singer James Hetfield announced on his personal Facebook page that he had just finished defending his PhD dissertation at California Institute of Technology in Pasadena (CalTech), CA
National News
Trump Announces Plan for Westboro Baptist Church Choir to Perform at His Inauguration
"It's no secret that the Church has never supported any president up until Trump," said Shirley Phelps-Roper, daughter of former outspoken and controversial leader Fred Phelps, "but with Trump, we finally have an executive who will take the fight right to the gays. We don't even have to protest anymore."
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Chemtrails
Ed Force One Cited for Unauthorized Chemtrail Emissions
British heavy metal legends Iron Maiden are being investigated for illegal chemtrail spraying with the use of their customized touring aircraft, the ex-Air France 747-400 jumbo jet known as Ed Force One.
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Latest posts
Tim Hortons Installs Canadian Space Arm at Ottawa Location
Roy Riffle - 0
Tim Hortons has unveiled a surprising new addition to its flagship Ottawa location: the Canadarm. Known for its crucial roles on the Space Shuttle and International Space Station, this iconic piece of Canadian engineering will now be serving coffee and donuts to delighted patrons. Dubbed the "Timbitsarm," this futuristic barista promises to bring a touch of zero-gravity magic to the everyday coffee experience, making morning routines in Ottawa more extraordinary than ever.
AA and AAA Join Forces to Create AAAAA
Some analysts close to this emerging market question the timing of the merger and its long-term viability and business sense.
Louisiana Teacher Under Fire for Posting 10 Commandments in Pig Latin
History teacher Bernie Carver stirred controversy by displaying the Ten Commandments in Pig Latin, provoking ire from conservative parents. Earl "Big Earl" LeJeune fumed, "This is part of a larger conspiracy. Next, they'll be speaking French! And you know what they say about French – it's the language of the devil!"