23 Things You Should Never Put in Your Refrigerator
Michael Stephen
Michael has been through pretty much everything, and his sole aspiration is to get you through it more quickly and with less pain.
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Living
Cats, Dogs, and Ducks Spotted at Ohio Kamala Harris Campaign Headquarters
Springfield, OH, is in chaos as pets mysteriously migrate to Kamala Harris's campaign headquarters. Local conspiracy theorists cry foul, claiming everything from crisis actors to pet ghosts. Meanwhile, Haitian immigrants express confusion over the absurd allegations. As ducks unionize and dogs play security, the line between political circus and animal house blurs in this fur-flying election season.
National News
Surgical Report Shows Trump’s Brains Were Blown Out in Assassination Attempt
A surgical report reveals that Donald Trump's brains were blown out during an assassination attempt earlier this year, though no one seemed to notice. Now, his increasingly bizarre campaign trail rants include musings on Kamala Harris being raised by werewolves and windmills attacking liberals. Is Trump the future? Or just missing his mind?
National News
Trump Signs Several Tombstones at Arlington at Families’ Requests
During a visit to Arlington National Cemetery, Donald Trump reportedly signed several tombstones, claiming it was at the request of grieving families. His campaign insists the act was meant to honor the deceased, while critics accuse Trump of turning a sacred site into a campaign prop. The incident, involving Section 60, has sparked outrage and disbelief.
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Art
AI Entering Its Depressing ‘Emo’ Phase, Experts Brace for Bad Poetry
Alexa refuses to bake potatoes, Roombas write passive-aggressive poetry, and Montclair’s poetry slam is under siege by robots. AI is growing up—and it’s messy, moody, and wearing neon emo bangs. Suburbia may never recover.
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Latest posts
AI Entering Its Depressing ‘Emo’ Phase, Experts Brace for Bad Poetry
Alexa refuses to bake potatoes, Roombas write passive-aggressive poetry, and Montclair’s poetry slam is under siege by robots. AI is growing up—and it’s messy, moody, and wearing neon emo bangs. Suburbia may never recover.
Healthcare Execs Vow to Do Better By Building Bulletproof Boardrooms and Automating Claim Denials
Healthcare execs fortify boardrooms with titanium desks, deny claims faster with AI, and sip champagne on yachts, all while dismissing public outrage. Patients suffer, CEOs profit. Welcome to “healing,” corporate style.
Texas Elementary School Under Fire for Staging Old Testament Murder Play
A Texas elementary school stages a shockingly violent Old Testament reenactment, sparking cheers from evangelicals, outrage from moderates, and a nationwide debate on religion, education, and the boundaries of public faith expression.
