Area Guinea Pig Unimpressed With Leftover Short Rib

Nevada City, CA — An area guinea pig’ Sugar Peaches’ seemed unimpressed with a just-before-bed short rib snack left by its owner, 11-year-old Nevada City resident Stephanie Jameson. The Jameson family had finished dinner a few hours earlier, and Stephanie wanted to give her favorite pet “a treat.”

“Sugar Peaches is happy,” said Miss Jameson just before bedtime. “All he cares about is his hay and carrots. I thought, ‘how boring!’ When I pick him up, he gets quite scared, like I’m going to eat him. But I tell him, ‘no baby, I’m just going to snuggle you. I’m not an Eagle or Dad or anything like that.’ He’s so cute. I love him so much. But he didn’t like the ribs. Maybe there was too much BBQ sauce or something.”

As the short rib sat in the cage, Sugar Peaches made his way around it while ignoring the bony, fleshy mass which occupied a fair amount of precious guinea pig habitat.

“When I got up in the morning, Sugar Peaches hadn’t touched it at all,” continued Miss Jameson. “Maybe he doesn’t like beef like my idiot brother. I’ll try chicken later tonight.”

Randall 'fink' Finkelstein
Randall 'fink' Finkelsteinhttps://www.broadstreetbeacon.com
Fink is a man of many words, and many web links. He likes to argue and seldom loses. Mostly because he’s well informed. And somewhat gassy.

More from author

Related posts

Advertisment

Latest posts

AI Entering Its Depressing ‘Emo’ Phase, Experts Brace for Bad Poetry

Alexa refuses to bake potatoes, Roombas write passive-aggressive poetry, and Montclair’s poetry slam is under siege by robots. AI is growing up—and it’s messy, moody, and wearing neon emo bangs. Suburbia may never recover.

Healthcare Execs Vow to Do Better By Building Bulletproof Boardrooms and Automating Claim Denials

Healthcare execs fortify boardrooms with titanium desks, deny claims faster with AI, and sip champagne on yachts, all while dismissing public outrage. Patients suffer, CEOs profit. Welcome to “healing,” corporate style.

Texas Elementary School Under Fire for Staging Old Testament Murder Play

A Texas elementary school stages a shockingly violent Old Testament reenactment, sparking cheers from evangelicals, outrage from moderates, and a nationwide debate on religion, education, and the boundaries of public faith expression.