Area Man Recounts His Long Relationship with Secret Psychedelic Casino Chimp

Nevada City, CA — Area fixture and expert check-writer Toby ‘Doob’ Carnevale admitted to the check-out clerk at Nevada City’s SPD Market that he has “a long relationship with a psychedelic Secret casino chimp.” Carnevale made the interesting comments after attempting to purchase a single-stick of Juicy Fruit Gum using a check.

“Well you see, I was just a kid back then,” said a disheveled Mr. Carnevale looking around for a pen to sign his check. “I was left in a bedroom with three 1/2 tabs of Pink Floyd. I took one, and nothing. So I took three more and boy, that was something.”

Mr. Carnevale, who was 19 at the time of his first acid experience, described to the attentive clerk how developed his life-long relationship with his not-so-imaginary primate.


“He left me on my own in his bedroom for over an hour deliberately, to see if I freaked out and I had a lengthy conversation with a picture of a baby chimpanzee, who I believed to be a blackjack dealer at a casino, that was only accessible through a secret door I had accidentally unlocked by dropping my cigarette on the floor in just the right spot. Shit got a bit weird after that though.”

SPD Grocery store checkout clerk Megan Albright handled Mr. Carnevale’s $.17 transaction, and listened courteously to his odd rambling.

“Doob comes in here all the time. We sometimes catch him in the front drinking milk out of the containers. But this chimp-thing was new. He can sure tell a story.”

According to Mr. Carnevale, this intense relationship continued for several years and has changed over time.

“He took on many different forms over the years,” continued Doob, “but he’s one of the few things that’s stuck by my side. Of course it makes people a little nervous when I start talking to him on Broad Street, but most of the locals get it now.”

More from author

Related posts

Advertisment

Latest posts

Tim Hortons Installs Canadian Space Arm at Ottawa Location

Tim Hortons has unveiled a surprising new addition to its flagship Ottawa location: the Canadarm. Known for its crucial roles on the Space Shuttle and International Space Station, this iconic piece of Canadian engineering will now be serving coffee and donuts to delighted patrons. Dubbed the "Timbitsarm," this futuristic barista promises to bring a touch of zero-gravity magic to the everyday coffee experience, making morning routines in Ottawa more extraordinary than ever.

Louisiana Teacher Under Fire for Posting 10 Commandments in Pig Latin

History teacher Bernie Carver stirred controversy by displaying the Ten Commandments in Pig Latin, provoking ire from conservative parents. Earl "Big Earl" LeJeune fumed, "This is part of a larger conspiracy. Next, they'll be speaking French! And you know what they say about French – it's the language of the devil!"