Grass Valley, CA — Area waitress Saylor Chrissy is tired of people with their smartphones ruining her day and the days of other hard working people by posting their negative reviews on Yelp.
“We work hard here at Arancaya Grill,” an exasperated Ms. Chrissy told The Fazzler on Thursday. “The thing that bugs me is that I am a very attentive server. I check in often. I ask how their Panqueque is, do they need more Sangria, are the alpaca burgers done just right? I almost universally get positive feedback. But then they go home and rant on Yelp. What is people’s major dysfunction? Why bother going out if you hate everything so much?”
All across America, restaurant patrons are acting like they were raised by wolves in a factory farm. And topping off this graceless, entitled, and spoiled behavior, is a dash of of danger.
“Not only is their behavior passive-aggressive and frankly wimpy, but a lot of the parents let their kids run around the restaurant,” continued a frustrated Ms. Chrissy. “They’re all like, ‘oh, Little Jimmy, stay out of the kitchen, blah blah blah.’ Do they understand how dangerous a restaurant is?”
Yelp is a popular site for patrons of all business to review their experiences at those business. Many of those patrons are also cowardly dicks.
“Misty and I always use Yelp to find places to eat, shop, Et cetera, Et cetera,” said 32-year-old Daft Franklin of Roseville, using his thick hands to form winking quotation marks. “We also contribute reviews as well. It’s hard to find a place these days with the kind of South American panache and child-friendly environment we’re looking for in a high-end restaurant. Arancaya Grill is certainly not that place,” continued chuckling dickhead Mr. Franklin.
As for her next steps, Ms. Chrissy remained stoic.
“This is a hard job. And I have two young kids to feed. I treat the Arancaya Grill like it’s my home,” said a self-confident Ms. Chrissy. “Someone told me, ‘it’s business, not personal.’ Well for me, if it matters, it’s personal. And doing a good job is how I know I will always have my peace of mind. It’s personal for sure.”
