Articles by

Randall 'fink' Finkelstein

Fink is a man of many words, and many web links. He likes to argue and seldom loses. Mostly because he’s well informed. And somewhat gassy.

Area Cashier Not Fired for Licking Cantaloupe

SPD Grocery Store checkout clerk Megan Albright will not be terminated for "taste testing" customer Cantaloupes. Ms. Albright, who has worked for the highly-praised local grocery story for almost a year, has been using an unique method to test produce for freshness.

Remembering Bored Georgeman 1933-2015

As the author of over 45 The Fazzler articles, Horace "Bored" Georgeman became a national sensation overnight after publishing his groundbreaking investigations.

Oregon to Force Customers to Pump Gas

In the first change to laws that were put in place in 1951, the Oregon State Legislature has voted to abandon the requirement that only gasoline station attendants can pump gas, and require that its customers do it. The controversial bill passed both government houses and the governor has promised to sign it.

CarMax Salesman Performs Emergency Birth

5 year veteran CarMax car salesman Sherman Hoover performed an emergency car birth late yesterday afternoon after a pregnant 2011 Land Cruiser unexpectedly gave birth to its offspring.

Area Criminal Critically Ill After Accidentally Siphoning RV’s Septic Tank

Area petty criminal Jimmie Saldoscent has been booked into the Wayne Brown Correctional facility after admitting to accidentally siphoning raw sewage from a Grass Valley recreational vehicle after intending to steal gasoline.

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