Articles by

Randall 'fink' Finkelstein

Fink is a man of many words, and many web links. He likes to argue and seldom loses. Mostly because he’s well informed. And somewhat gassy.

To Kill or Not to Kill: Shakespeare Busted as Brutal Murderer!

English Shakespeare Scholar, Professor Reginald Worthington-Featherstone III, claims that William Shakespeare murdered a theatre critic over a negative "Macbeth" review and concealed the grisly act in a secret sonnet, Sonnet 155.

Police Fraternity Planning a Surprise Party for Quentin Tarantino

Following comments made by American film director and actor Quentin Tarantino at a New York City protest, the Fraternal Order of Police Officers announced last week that it was planning a "surprise party" for him as a way of thanking him for his recent "support" of police officers.

FDR’s Image to Grace New EBT Cards

Electronic benefit transfer or EBT cards as they are more popularly known, will be embossed with an image of the 32nd President of the United States Franklin D. Roosevelt.

Nostradamus Predicted Elon Musk’s Rise, Lost Quatrain Reveals

A long-lost Nostradamus quatrain has surfaced, appearing to predict the rise of visionary entrepreneur Elon Musk, the force behind Tesla, SpaceX, and SolarCity. The quatrain, part of the previously undiscovered Centurie XII, Quatrain 87, references Musk's privileged upbringing, his father's emerald mine, and his groundbreaking ventures. As scholars race to verify its authenticity, this enigmatic prophecy has rekindled interest in the 16th-century seer and his cryptic foresight.

Report: Applebee’s Restaurants Nation’s Number One Dining Destination for Nazis

A joint 8 month study conducted by the Rundex Family Foundation and the American Enterprise Institute has found that Nazis prefer the dining selection at Applebee's Restaurants by a factor of 2 to 1 over the next closest chain.

Mormons and Scientologists to Join Forces

After realizing that both American-born religions share numerous similarities in their mythologies and "spiritual technologies," leaders in both church organizations have decided to merge to increase their "synergistic reach into new demographics."

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