Articles by

Jon Reremy, PhD

When Jon was a little bitty baby his mama would rock him in the cradle in the old cotton fields where he's from. Growing up in the deep south, he learned to take a punch, a skill he carries with him to this day and looks to pass on to future generations of Reremies. After the tragic monster truck accident that claimed the life of his latest wife, all pending charges were dropped, leaving Jon to pursue his dream of marrying someone younger, hotter, and dirtier. As his hunt continues, Jon lurks around the local junior college, where he hopes to earn his doctorate by attending several classes a month, that he may one day stop lying about having one. When he's not studying or leching, Jon maintains an active television-viewing schedule. On the rare occasion inspiration strikes, he strikes back.

Starfleet Cancels Plans for San Francisco-Based Headquarters

Authorities speaking for the space research and exploration organization Starfleet have confirmed a long-rumored decision to postpone construction of the San Francisco-based Starfleet Academy.

Nation Shocked at Ted Cruz Mistress Accusations

Recent rumors of Republican presidential candidate Ted Cruz's infidelity have sparked shock and confusion among voters across the political spectrum.

Mexico Warns Citizens Against Drinking American Tap Water

The Mexican government issued a statement this morning to its citizens traveling abroad in the United States, warning them to avoid drinking tap water.

NRA Study Finds Gun Owners Courageous, Svelte

In a startling new study of its members, the National Rifle Association (NRA) has concluded that gun owners share a number of previously unreported traits, ranging from high levels of patriotism to increased sexual prowess.

Ancient Egyptian Discovery a Great Disappointment

Archaeologists working near the site of the Library of Alexandria in Egypt, famed cultural center of the ancient world, uncovered a massive trove of parchments, scrolls, and manuscripts this week, calling it, "the single greatest Anthropological disappointment in history."

Study: Connecting Planned Parenthood and Family Planning Causes Confusion

A new study from the Population Research Center strongly correlated the defunding of Planned Parenthood with a rise in unwanted pregnancies, causing conservative leaders to wonder if there might be a connection.

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