Articles by
Michael Stephen
Michael has been through pretty much everything, and his sole aspiration is to get you through it more quickly and with less pain.
Food
Are Tomatoes Grown with ChatGPT Safe? The Unseen Danger Lurking in Your Salad
Pasadena residents are embroiled in a bizarre controversy, debating the safety of tomatoes grown with the help of OpenAI's ChatGPT. Despite no scientific evidence suggesting danger, "ChatGPT-Free Tomatoes" signs have begun to appear in local stores.
Art
Plain English Translation of James Joyce’s Finnegans Wake Exceeds 175,000 Pages
University of Chicago James Joyce scholar Professor James Badwater has completed what he is calling a "plain English" version of the Irish writer's avant-garde work Finnegans Wake. The translated version of this comic fiction novel has eclipsed over 175,000 pages and will take approximately 42 years to read.
Satire
Lunatic Fish Causes Countywide Lockdown
Deftly toggling between 3G and 5G, the fish, described as red by many, has been able to avoid detection and positive identification by law enforcement.
Local News
Roundabout Shows Modern Technology’s Weakness
A Google self-driving car caused a traffic jam in Grass Valley over the weekend. A Google engineer decided to try out the new driver-less car in this area to, as he explains, “put it through the paces of my own hometown, where I learned to drive.â€
Living
Home Depot Promises to Sponsor 129 Miles of Border Wall if Trump is Re-elected
What makes Home Depot's announcement novel is not that they're funding sections of the wall but rather how they will do it.
National News
Alex Jones Sues His Own Quotes
Conspiracy theorist and chili aficionado Alex Jones announced this week that he plans on suing his own quotes. Early this week, Greek yogurt giant Chobani filed a lawsuit against the right-wing radio host, accusing him of publishing false information about the company.
Satire
Grass Valley Approves 5G Tower at Roundabout
The controversial 5G tower is set for launch sometime this spring.
Art
Female Cast as Next Incredible Hulk
In his typical bold, trend-setting movie making style, director Quentin Tarantino has announced that his new The Incredible Hulk will feature a woman in the starring role.
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