Articles by

Michael Stephen

Michael has been through pretty much everything, and his sole aspiration is to get you through it more quickly and with less pain.

Are Tomatoes Grown with ChatGPT Safe? The Unseen Danger Lurking in Your Salad

Pasadena residents are embroiled in a bizarre controversy, debating the safety of tomatoes grown with the help of OpenAI's ChatGPT. Despite no scientific evidence suggesting danger, "ChatGPT-Free Tomatoes" signs have begun to appear in local stores.

Plain English Translation of James Joyce’s Finnegans Wake Exceeds 175,000 Pages

University of Chicago James Joyce scholar Professor James Badwater has completed what he is calling a "plain English" version of the Irish writer's avant-garde work Finnegans Wake. The translated version of this comic fiction novel has eclipsed over 175,000 pages and will take approximately 42 years to read.

Lunatic Fish Causes Countywide Lockdown

Deftly toggling between 3G and 5G, the fish, described as red by many, has been able to avoid detection and positive identification by law enforcement.

Roundabout Shows Modern Technology’s Weakness

A Google self-driving car caused a traffic jam in Grass Valley over the weekend. A Google engineer decided to try out the new driver-less car in this area to, as he explains, “put it through the paces of my own hometown, where I learned to drive.”

Alex Jones Sues His Own Quotes

Conspiracy theorist and chili aficionado Alex Jones announced this week that he plans on suing his own quotes. Early this week, Greek yogurt giant Chobani filed a lawsuit against the right-wing radio host, accusing him of publishing false information about the company.

Female Cast as Next Incredible Hulk

In his typical bold, trend-setting movie making style, director Quentin Tarantino has announced that his new The Incredible Hulk will feature a woman in the starring role.

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