Articles by
Michael Stephen
Michael has been through pretty much everything, and his sole aspiration is to get you through it more quickly and with less pain.
Regional News
Giant Lump of Water Attacks Terrified Californians
An unwieldy and awkward giant lump of water has pummeled most of California over the weekend, the National Weather Service is reporting. The lump, which has been named storm Andre, lumbered up from the tropics and squatted right over the state, dumping torrents of water onto terrified citizens.
Earth News
Canadians Weigh In: Ted Cruz Plummets in Canadian Polls
While he is wildly popular in the USA, Senator Ted Cruz's popularity is plummeting in many Canadian polls. Ted Cruz is running for President of the United States, despite being a Canadian.
Art
The Walking Dead Season 7 to Feature Adam Sandler as Rick
“Yeah, we've written this entire season, front to back, and Rick Grimes is a MAJOR part of the unfolding plot, we aren't going to wait for Mr. Lincoln,†states a very angry Robert Kirkman. “I have no choice but to sub somebody in to fill the role. After many, many auditions I am sad to say that only Adam Sandler could really play a convincing Rick Grimes.
Alternative
Gay Man Trapped in Well Doesn’t Believe CNN
As rescue workers worked to free the man from the well, he was reportedly seen yelling that he didn't believe CNN.
Earth News
Ozzy Osbourne Only Slightly Killed by a Crazy Train Wreck
British rocker Ozzy Osbourne was run over by a train yesterday afternoon in Birmingham. The train was reported to have been acting a little crazy, as eyewitnesses reported that it seemed to be steering directly toward a distracted Osbourne.
Living
6G Frightens Even Wireless Companies
Leaked memos reveal that wireless providers are concerned about the upcoming 6G technology.
Satire
Black Man Gunned Down Carrying Newly Purchased Samsung TV
A Texas militia man took the law into his own hands to a disastrous effect.
Music
Keith Richards’ Mom Dead at 167
According to a spokesperson for the Rolling Stones, Keith Richards wishes not to be bothered.
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