Articles by
Xander X. Xanthangum
Xander X. Xanthangum is a blogger/news writer whose credits include submitting questionable and unsourced articles to the Gish Gallop and Broad Street Beacon. He is a metamodernist writer in the post-post-post-post modernist sense, whose goal as an artist and journalist is to subvert, hijack, and appropriate modernity and post-modernity. If you even know what the fuck this means, good for you.
Satire
State of Jefferson Declares War on the Great Republic of Rough and Ready
State of Jefferson militia members are taking advantage of a mistake made by the Republic of Rough and Ready over 150 years ago.
Local News
Giant Sarlacc Discovered in Grass Valley Sinkhole
Local workers made a startling discovery when performing repairs on Grass Valley’s seven-story tall sinkhole on Freeman Lane. While shoring up and placing supports at the foot of the sinkhole, a Sarlacc suddenly appeared from below devouring three workers and two earthmovers in a matter of seconds.
Food
Woodstock 50th Anniversary Postage Stamps To Feature LSD Adhesive
If your mellow has been harshed lately, these are sure to help.
Satire
State of Jefferson Opens Strip Clubs and “Pornorama”
State of Jefferson advocates hope to raise funds for lost cause through “XX” branding.
Satire
State of Jefferson Sued by Dos Equis
Brewer claims that Jefferson’s “XX” dilutes their brand.
Living
Gated Communities Discovered to be Massive Secret Government Social Experiment
An exhaustive study revealed that gated communities are really vast government experiments.
Satire
State of Jefferson Translating U.S. Constitution into ‘Authentic Frontier Gibberish’
The State of Jefferson isn't interested in any "mumbo-jumbo" according to the movement's supporters.
Local News
Alt-Right Mascot, Pepe the Frog, Accidentally Eaten at Area Cafe
Pepe the Frog, beloved mascot of the alt-right movement, was inadvertently sauteed and consumed at Ike's Quarter Cafe in Nevada City yesterday afternoon. Pepe, whose avatar is used by many commenters on 4chan, Reddit, and Breitbart News, was sitting in the outdoor terraced dining area when he was approached by the busser, Tyler "Earbud" Fulcrum.
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