- Advertisement -

Washington, D.C. – To honor the 50th anniversary of the Woodstock Festival, the U.S. Postal Service is issuing commemorative stamps featuring vibrant psychedelic artwork.
But that’s not all.

Each stamp’s adhesive backing contains a small amount of LSD, or, as it’s called by its full name, lysergic acid diethylamide. Known as a hallucinogen and sensory enhancing drug, LSD played a major part in the 1960’s zeitgeist.

In fact, it could be held wholly responsible for the 60s, period.

“We felt we wanted to give the younger generation a sense of the decade that brought The Grateful Dead, Jimi Hendrix, Janice Joplin, and of course, Woodstock itself,” said Hugh Romney, interim U.S. Postmaster General. “It’s a way to bring the country together in peace, love, and raised consciousness during these totally uncool times.”

“But don’t lick the brown stamps,” warned the Postmaster General, “we think a bad batch got on those.”

The stamps will feature the types of images you might see while on an actual acid trip. Also in each set are a collectible Woodstock poster and a psychedelic rendering of “Furthur,” the bus which carried Ken Kesey and the Merry Pranksters cross-country and back.

Unfortunately, the interim Postmaster General’s vision of reaching out to the younger generations will most likely not come to pass. When surveyed, 93% of people between the ages of 15 and 39 had neither mailed a letter or bill, nor ever licked a stamp in their lives. Pre-orders are selling briskly in the 60 – 75 year cohort however.

Sets are limited to three sheets per customer. Street value has not yet been set at time of this article’s publication.

Previous articleArea Woman Reaches Goal Weight With Coronavirus
Next articleNew Arrival Not Happy
Xander X. Xanthangum
Xander X. Xanthangum is a blogger/news writer whose credits include submitting questionable and unsourced articles to the Gish Gallop and Broad Street Beacon. He is a metamodernist writer in the post-post-post-post modernist sense, whose goal as an artist and journalist is to subvert, hijack, and appropriate modernity and post-modernity. If you even know what the fuck this means, good for you.