HomeEarth News

Earth News

Ten Things You Can Do with All the Toilet Paper You’ve Hoarded

With the East Coast port strike resolved and no shortage of toilet paper in sight, many Americans are now stuck with a surplus of panic-bought TP. But don’t worry! From building cozy TP forts to crafting DIY wedding dresses, here are ten hilarious and creative ways to make the most of your toilet paper stash.

Iranian Leadership’s Sony PlayStations Reportedly Exploding

Iranian officials’ PlayStations are reportedly exploding, leaving the ruling class grappling with a new “crisis” while citizens endure far worse hardships. Whether it's Israeli sabotage or just bad wiring, the explosions highlight the absurd disparity between the elite and everyday Iranians. Spoiler: most Iranians don’t even know what a PlayStation 5 is.

Pager Sales Drop Dramatically in Lebanon: Motorola and Other Major Players Expect a ‘Tough Quarter’

Remember when pagers were the epitome of cool? Neither do we. But Motorola was hoping for a comeback—until Hezbollah’s pager-equipped fighters found themselves with more firepower than they bargained for. Mossad’s alleged pager bomb plot has torpedoed sales, leaving Motorola scrambling and hipsters reconsidering their love for retro tech that, you know, explodes.

Elon Musk Sues Brazil for Being Mean to Him

laws. Framing the lawsuit as a defense of free speech, Musk claims Brazil’s government has "been mean" by enforcing regulations. This is the latest episode in Musk’s legal strategy of suing nations and people into liking him—or at least respecting his ever-expanding empire.

Massive Ozempic Shipment Accidentally Sent to North Sudan

A shipment of Ozempic, the diabetes drug now popular as a weight-loss aid, was mistakenly sent to North Sudan, causing panic in wealthy nations. As the affluent scramble to recover their supply, the incident highlights the absurdity and inequity in global healthcare, where a life-saving medication is diverted for cosmetic use, leaving those in real need at risk.

Area Entrepreneur Erases God With Microwave Brain Machine

A Grass Valley inventor has invented a brain scan machine that will replace what he calls "arcane belief systems" with "modern, humanist principles." Brian K. Hart has been working on what he calls his Cognitive Replacement System or CRS for over a decade.

Toyota Signs 10-Year Sponsorship Deal with the Islamic State

The Toyota Motor Corporation reportedly struck a 10-year sponsorship deal with the Islamic State (ISIS,ISIL), aligning themselves alongside the world's leading global terrorist organization.

Want to stay up to date with the latest news?

We would love to hear from you! Please fill in your details and we will stay in touch. It's that simple!