Healthcare execs fortify boardrooms with titanium desks, deny claims faster with AI, and sip champagne on yachts, all while dismissing public outrage. Patients suffer, CEOs profit. Welcome to “healing,” corporate style.
Comedian Tony Hinchcliffe, infamous for his provocative MSG act, has landed a new gig with the Babylon Bee. Known for anti-LGBTQ+ and controversial headlines, the Bee embraced Tony’s ‘fearless’ style. His arrival, however, is unsettling fans who enjoyed lighter jabs. With his ‘Project Humor’ initiative, the Bee’s satire plunges to tasteless new lows, and even die-hard followers are shocked.
Tom Joad stands in disbelief as his family’s struggle is transformed into a five-minute TikTok sensation. Their story, once defined by hardship and dignity, is now a viral meme, shared and forgotten in seconds. As the world scrolls past, Tom realizes that in this digital age, human suffering is nothing more than content for a blind and fleeting audience.
Elon Musk outlines his five-step method for making people like you by suing them. From asserting dominance with litigation to redefining free speech as agreeing with him, Musk’s guide explains how lawsuits can be an effective tool in building relationships, inspired by his own legal battles against advertisers who left his platform, X.
A shipment of Ozempic, the diabetes drug now popular as a weight-loss aid, was mistakenly sent to North Sudan, causing panic in wealthy nations. As the affluent scramble to recover their supply, the incident highlights the absurdity and inequity in global healthcare, where a life-saving medication is diverted for cosmetic use, leaving those in real need at risk.
At a Tesla Gigafactory expansion event in Austin, TX, funded by government grants and tax breaks, Elon Musk warned of a looming communist threat from Democrats, particularly Vice President Kamala Harris. Despite benefiting heavily from public funds, Musk condemned government interference while ironically expanding his empire with government support. Donald Trump chimed in, supporting Musk's crusade against this fictional "communist" scourge.
CNN, in a stroke of genius, has eased the emotional toll of nonstop civil unrest coverage by sprinkling in some good old-fashioned plane crashes. Viewers, who were teetering on the brink of despair, are now refreshed, grateful for the reminder that no matter how bad things get, at least they're not plummeting from the sky.
Republican leadership, meanwhile, scrambled to respond to the unfolding crisis of constitutional literacy among their ranks. An emergency meeting was called to discuss strategies for combating what they termed "the sudden outbreak of understanding basic civil liberties."
