Earth News

Remember when pagers were the epitome of cool? Neither do we. But Motorola was hoping for a comeback—until Hezbollah’s pager-equipped fighters found themselves with more firepower than they bargained for. Mossad’s alleged pager bomb plot has torpedoed sales, leaving Motorola scrambling and hipsters reconsidering their love for retro tech that, you know, explodes.

laws. Framing the lawsuit as a defense of free speech, Musk claims Brazil’s government has "been mean" by enforcing regulations. This is the latest episode in Musk’s legal strategy of suing nations and people into liking him—or at least respecting his ever-expanding empire.

A shipment of Ozempic, the diabetes drug now popular as a weight-loss aid, was mistakenly sent to North Sudan, causing panic in wealthy nations. As the affluent scramble to recover their supply, the incident highlights the absurdity and inequity in global healthcare, where a life-saving medication is diverted for cosmetic use, leaving those in real need at risk.

A Grass Valley inventor has invented a brain scan machine that will replace what he calls "arcane belief systems" with "modern, humanist principles." Brian K. Hart has been working on what he calls his Cognitive Replacement System or CRS for over a decade.

The Toyota Motor Corporation reportedly struck a 10-year sponsorship deal with the Islamic State (ISIS,ISIL), aligning themselves alongside the world's leading global terrorist organization.

Directed Energy Weapons or DEWs have been used in the recent Malibu, CA fires.

A long-lost Nostradamus quatrain has surfaced, appearing to predict the rise of visionary entrepreneur Elon Musk, the force behind Tesla, SpaceX, and SolarCity. The quatrain, part of the previously undiscovered Centurie XII, Quatrain 87, references Musk's privileged upbringing, his father's emerald mine, and his groundbreaking ventures. As scholars race to verify its authenticity, this enigmatic prophecy has rekindled interest in the 16th-century seer and his cryptic foresight.

After realizing that both American-born religions share numerous similarities in their mythologies and "spiritual technologies," leaders in both church organizations have decided to merge to increase their "synergistic reach into new demographics."