Washington, D.C. — It’s the story she doesn’t want told, the scandal that haunts her every December 30th: CNN correspondent Dana Bash was once cruelly denied a Big Wheel on her birthday. The fact that her younger sister received the coveted plastic steed only adds salt to this half-century-old wound, which has festered into a family legend—and, some might say, a career in asking tough questions.
The year was 1974. A simpler time, when disco was king, Jell-O molds were considered fine dining, and children could still be emotionally wrecked by uneven gift distribution. Dana Bash, a ripe 11 years old, was already wise beyond her years. But nothing could prepare her for the betrayal that awaited her on that shared December 30th birthday with her younger sister.
The living room was a scene of joyful chaos as wrapping paper flew and presents were unveiled. Dana waited with bated breath as her sister unwrapped the ultimate prize: a gleaming Big Wheel, resplendent in primary colors and molded plastic glory. Meanwhile, Dana’s gift—a board game or a sweater (honestly, who even remembers?)—sat forgotten, gathering metaphorical dust as her sister climbed aboard her new ride and took an inaugural spin across the kitchen floor.
Dana, overcome with righteous indignation and possibly a few tears, fled to her room, slamming the door with the dramatic flair of a future cable news anchor. The injustice! The audacity! Did her parents not understand the rules of sibling equity?
“I was the older one!” she reportedly cried into her pillow. “I earned it!”
The Long Shadow of the Big Wheel
Fifty years later, Dana’s career has taken her to the heights of journalism, but the memory of the Big Wheel incident remains vivid.
“People talk about childhood trauma like it’s something deep and profound,” Dana quipped recently. “Mine was plastic and had three wheels.”
Her younger sister, now a respected adult who still seems just a little too smug about that birthday, insists she didn’t mean to rub it in all those years ago.
“She’s always been dramatic,” the sister said in an exclusive interview. “It’s not my fault Mom and Dad knew who the real favorite was.”
When asked for comment, Dana said, “I wasn’t dramatic. I was right. There’s a difference.”
Sibling Rivalry Endures
Every December 30th, the Bash siblings celebrate their shared birthday with laughter, cake, and, inevitably, a retelling of The Big Wheel Story. The script remains largely the same: Dana accuses her sister of vehicular gloating, her sister denies it while miming Big Wheel donuts, and their parents (blissfully unaware of the psychological scarring they caused) smile benignly and ask if anyone wants more pie.
Over the years, Dana has considered buying herself a Big Wheel to reclaim her dignity.
“But let’s face it,” she said, “at my age, it would probably result in a broken hip.”
Still, she holds out hope for a symbolic act of restitution.
“I don’t need an apology,” Dana declared magnanimously. “I just need her to admit that I should’ve gotten it. Say it once, and we can move on.”
Her sister, of course, refuses.
“She can’t let it go, and honestly, I don’t blame her,” she said with a grin. “That Big Wheel was amazing.”
A Grudge That Won’t Quit
For Dana, the Big Wheel isn’t just a toy—it’s a symbol. Of what? Even she isn’t entirely sure.
“I think it’s about fairness,” she mused. “Or maybe it’s about the fact that, for one glorious moment, my sister was cooler than me. And that just doesn’t sit right.”
As another birthday rolls around, the Bash sisters will gather to celebrate, laugh, and reignite their lifelong feud. And if you happen to hear someone yelling, “Fifty years later, and I’m still waiting for justice!”—well, now you know the story.
Editor’s Note: Sources close to Dana confirm she still occasionally searches eBay for adult-sized Big Wheels. Her sister, upon hearing this, reportedly laughed and said, “She should’ve started looking in 1974.”
