Bill, The Great White Shark
Bill, The Great White Shark

Coronado Island, CA — Great white sharks are one of the ocean’s largest predators, so when they interact with humans it rarely ends well. Swimmers at Coronado Beach were horrified when a great white shark attacked African-American swimmer Troy Johnson. Troy was bitten in the left buttock but was quickly pulled to shore by lifeguards. Mr. Johnson is in stable at Sharp Memorial Hospital in San Diego.

Witness Jeneska Jenkins spoke with The Fazzler about the attack.

“I cant believe this, white people attack us on land and now water” she exclaimed. “We need safe spaces in the ocean free from white sharks”.

The group Black Lives Matters plans to boycott the Pacific Ocean and protest at the Coronado Attack location. They are demanding the white shark be caught and brought to justice. They also want safe spaces in the ocean where white sharks cannot go.

The Fazzler spoke with local organizer, Rev. Samuel Jones. We asked the Rev. why they are singling out the Great White Shark.

“Well we have been oppressed, obreast and offest for hundreds of years by white sharks like these,” he said. “Now is the time to stand together and shout ‘no more!’ I will be accepting donations at the protest. Cash only I’m sure you understand.”

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Cleveland Sam
Cleveland Sam, born Sam C. Sharpe, is a hero, a hero to anyone who knows him in Ohio. At the mere age of 7, he rescued a small girl from the clutches of a herd of llamas outside his boyhood home of Cleveland, OH. By the age of 12, he had already rescued over 14 children from near deaths ranging from freak ice cream truck accidents, to drownings in neighbors' Dough Boy Pools. But his heroism didn't stop at youth. No sir. As a teenager, he saved the entire cheerleading squad of his local high school from certain death with their "party van" caught fire during a local "rager." He writes for Gish Gallop because he feels he needs to rescue it. He's probably correct.