Hollywood, CA — In a coordinated hit that makes the JFK assassination look like an accident at a Three Stooges convention, the new Reagan biopic film, starring Dennis Quaid, has become the latest victim of the Deep State’s long-standing war against films that showcase conservative heroism. No one’s shocked, least of all real Americans, who saw this coming from miles away. This wasn’t just a critical failure, folks—this was an orchestrated suppression of the Gipper’s legacy by a cabal so sinister, they’ve had their fingerprints on every film-flop since The Birth of a Nation premiered in Woodrow Wilson’s White House.
Now, the Deep State—rumored to have been founded by anarchists who failed to assassinate Wilson for screening that very same Birth of a Nation—has its grubby little paws on everything from film distribution to Rotten Tomatoes reviews. But, as every patriot knows, this isn’t their first rodeo.
A Pattern of Suppression
In 2004, Mel Gibson dared to tell the story of The Passion of the Christ, a powerful film that practically wept blood. But did the liberal elites and their Hollywood puppets rally around it? Of course not. Instead, they blacklisted it harder than Sound of Freedom. Oh, that’s right, you may have noticed the eerie similarities between the Deep State’s sabotage of Sound of Freedom and the current attacks on Reagan. Same playbook, folks. The same sinister forces are at work, dragging down films that don’t adhere to their ideological agenda.
And what did the Deep State promote instead? The Last Temptation of Christ is a film so offensive it probably made the angels weep. Was it controversial? Yes. Was it lauded by the same media institutions that now smear Reagan? Absolutely. Because nothing screams “America” like a film questioning the divinity of its central religious figure. It’s all part of their grand plan: elevate the morally dubious, tear down the righteous.
Speaking of moral decay, can we briefly talk about John Lennon? You’ll remember how the Deep State loved the Beatles—until, of course, Lennon had the audacity to claim they were “more popular than Jesus Christ.” Cue the backlash. Sure, Lennon’s eventual demise may have seemed like the random act of a deranged fan, but isn’t it curious how quickly the Deep State flipped the script on the Beatles after that statement? Coincidence? Hardly. This was part of the long game—discrediting pop culture icons who strayed too far from the approved messaging.
Woodrow Wilson: The Birth of the Deep State?
It all goes back further than most people realize. The infamous Birth of a Nation screening at the White House under Woodrow Wilson wasn’t just a casual film night. No, no. This was the moment the Deep State’s ideological machine cranked into high gear. Sure, Wilson was an unwitting pawn—just a guy who thought a wildly racist film would be great for his “movie night” with Congress—but the Deep State was already plotting. That failed assassination attempt by anarchists? That’s right, those were the early rumblings of what would become the vast, unaccountable shadow government we all know and fear today.
Fast-forward to today, and you see the fruits of their labor. Whenever a film like Reagan rears its freedom-loving head, the Deep State swoops in. They didn’t even bother being subtle this time. Critics had their knives out before Dennis Quaid could finish his first monologue. And they aren’t even hiding behind complex economic theories or plausible deniability anymore—just outright smearing the film, knowing full well that their liberal pals in Hollywood will applaud like trained seals.
Conspiracy or Coincidence?
Trump supporters are understandably outraged.
“This is a coordinated takedown,” said one anonymous source (who asked to remain nameless to avoid CIA drones hovering over their ranch). “First, they went after Sound of Freedom, then The Passion of the Christ, and now this? It’s all connected. You don’t have to be a genius to see what’s going on. The Deep State doesn’t want us to remember Reagan as the man who stared down the Soviet Union and won. They want us to remember him as some old B-list actor. Well, I’m not falling for it.”
Another Trump supporter weighed in: “They’re trying to rewrite history! Just like they’ve done with the Beatles! After Lennon said what he said, they ruined the band! Mark my words, Reagan will be considered a classic one day—just like Birth of a Nation. It’s all connected, man.”
As conspiracy theorists across the nation fire up their forums to discuss this latest affront to cinematic freedom, we can only sit back and watch as the Deep State continues its crusade. Maybe they’ll go after Braveheart next. Maybe they’ll release a glowing, positive biopic of Karl Marx. One thing is for certain: the war on truth-telling films will continue, and the Deep State will stop at nothing to make sure their narrative is the only one that gets airtime.
