Lake Tahoe Dog Succumbs to Chemtrails

Lake Tahoe, CA — A tragedy unfolded this past weekend when a Shiba Inu named Rusty succumbed to a wave of Chemtrails that appeared over Lake Tahoe. According to his owner, Devin McClauvich of Grass Valley, Rusty was having an ordinary day of being a dog until the Chemtrails showed up.

“It’s just terrible,” said Ms. McClauvich in a The Fazzler telephone interview. “He was running around doing his normal ‘sniffing people’s crotches thing,’ when these asshole Chemtrails appeared. I couldn’t get my spray bottle of vinegar out quick enough, and he just rolled over and stopped moving. I hope the people who did this die. I hate them.”

Although Rusty was the only animal to succumb to the massive Lake Tahoe Chemtrail spraying over the weekend, several others reported allergy and respiratory issues they blamed on this the “global conspiracy to control our skies.”

“So we had just finished breakfast at South Shore [South Lake Tahoe],” said Concord, California retiree Margaret Snow who was already on her 2nd rum and coke. “And I couldn’t breathe. My doctor says it’s my Pall Malls, but I know it’s these Chemtrails poisoning us. Anyhow, when I looked up and saw them, I ran back inside the casino and started playing the nickel slots. Safer in there, you know?”

Despite Rusty’s tragedy, Ms. McClauvich plans to make the best of a terrible situation.

“I’m going to fight back,” continued Ms. McClauvich. “I’ve started  Rusty’s Chemtrail Memorial Fund to help take back our skies. The money will be used for Chemtrail awareness billboards I plan on putting up around the State. It’s how I’m making lemon aid out of lemons, you know?”

Randall 'fink' Finkelstein
Randall 'fink' Finkelsteinhttps://www.broadstreetbeacon.com
Fink is a man of many words, and many web links. He likes to argue and seldom loses. Mostly because he’s well informed. And somewhat gassy.

More from author

3 COMMENTS

Related posts

Advertisment

Latest posts

Elon Confirms Starship Failure Due to Use of Flex Seal Tape

A hilarious tale of how Elon Musk used Flex Seal tape on SpaceX's Starship in an outlandish experiment to cut costs and innovate faster. From late-night infomercial inspiration to a catastrophic yet entertaining spaceflight, this satirical article dives into Musk's unexpected partnership with the iconic adhesive brand and his unorthodox approach to rocket science.

CNN’s Dana Bash Still in Sibling Fight Over Childhood Big Wheel

A decades-old sibling feud over a childhood Big Wheel resurfaces every December 30th, blending humor, nostalgia, and Dana Bash’s quest for justice in this playful tale of enduring family dynamics.

AI Entering Its Depressing ‘Emo’ Phase, Experts Brace for Bad Poetry

Alexa refuses to bake potatoes, Roombas write passive-aggressive poetry, and Montclair’s poetry slam is under siege by robots. AI is growing up—and it’s messy, moody, and wearing neon emo bangs. Suburbia may never recover.