Mormon Graffiti Saved Man in Idaho Truck Stop

Boise, ID — The Mormon church has been around since the mid-1800s by Joseph Smith under questionable pretenses. It has since grown to 14 million members around the world. The Mormons use all manner of recruiting tools to save souls.

Meg Simon, a public relations assistant for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, came up with using bathroom stall graffiti to reach a broader audience.

“It has opened doors to people’s hearts,” Meg spoke to The Fazzler over the telephone. “The scripture is written right there between the drawings of penises and phone numbers.”

We spoke to truck driver Bill Tesh at the Boise Stage Stop, a truck stop in Idaho. After reading the scripture on the bathroom stall, Bill was saved and joined the Mormon church.

“I was doing my business, taking the Browns to the Super Bowl when I looked up and saw it. It said, ‘Jesus Loves you, repent and be saved.” Bill became teary. “Right there next to a picture of a vagina, it hit me right in the heart. I dropped to my knees right there and praised Jesus, and I have a new purpose in life”, Bill continued, “but I cannot figure out what the hell smells!”

As Bill walked away, we could see the brown streaks of his repentance on the back of his jeans.

Cleveland Sam
Cleveland Sam
Cleveland Sam, born Sam C. Sharpe, is a hero, a hero to anyone who knows him in Ohio. At the mere age of 7, he rescued a small girl from the clutches of a herd of llamas outside his boyhood home of Cleveland, OH. By the age of 12, he had already rescued over 14 children from near deaths ranging from freak ice cream truck accidents, to drownings in neighbors' Dough Boy Pools. But his heroism didn't stop at youth. No sir. As a teenager, he saved the entire cheerleading squad of his local high school from certain death with their "party van" caught fire during a local "rager." He writes for Gish Gallop because he feels he needs to rescue it. He's probably correct.

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