Online Kahn Academy to Offer Sex Education

The online, free education provider The Kahn Academy announced this week that plans on rolling out sex education courses.
The online, free education provider The Kahn Academy announced this week that plans on rolling out sex education courses.

Mountain View, CA — The Kahn Academy, which is a non-profit educational organization which provides free, world-class education for anyone, anywhere,” announced this week that it will be providing online “family life” training to supplement and even replace school-based programs. The program, which received a Federal grant from the Obama administration, is scheduled for a late summer roll-out.

“Even when there’s an opportunity to make Family [sex education] Life less mechanical once you start getting into it,” said Kahn Academy founder Salman Amin “Sal” Khan in a company press release, “unfortunately it is disproportionately taught in a very formulaic way.  So you don’t really get into the creative side of it. We want to make Family Life Education more timely and real. We believe that taking many of the social burdens from school will lead to a deeper, more penetrating and persistent understanding of the subject matter.”

Although details are slim as the training program is still in the planning phases,  Kahn Academy Director of Marketing Bethany Millbright did provide what students of the program might expect to see.

“We are excited to offer courses that can really have an impact on people’s lives,” said Mr. Millbright reading from a prepared press release. “Family Life education over the years has been an awkward affair for everyone involved. We believe taking this topic online solves many issues which can impede student success. Students will be able to follow certain ‘training paths’ to suit their socio-economic needs. And we’re also pleased to announce that we will be offering a certificate program track for those who wish a higher-level of competency in the subject matter.”

Not everyone is happy with technology taking the place of humans on such a sensitive topic.

“You people don’t get it,” shouted community activist Sairhra Ramun over her megaphone to a largely frightened crowd of tourists on Nevada City’s Broad Street. “You think the Terminator was a movie? Think again sheeple! The robots are coming to take away your kids. And they’re picking them off one video at a time on the Internet. Do you really want some technocrat in Mountain View telling your kids about sex. Wake up.”

According to the Kahn Academy, they plan on introducing the program to select schools in California, with a pilot program slated to start in Grass Valley, CA. There are no plans to extend the program to Texas.

Loretta Splitair
Loretta Splitair
Loretta Splitair is Fazzler's Media and Cultural Editor. She has written widely including publications such as Rolling Stone, The Atlantic and the Lady's Home Journal where she hosts a regular column on the ravages of Billy Joel's music entitled, Billy Joel is a Piece of Shit. Loretta is married to her second husband after her first died protesting railway expansion in Kansas. Please do not ask her about it.

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