Peeps Made With Real Chicken

Candy Peeps Made With Real Chicken
Candy Peeps Made With Real Chicken

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Bethlehem, PA — Just Born Foods, the maker of popular candy Peeps, is under fire from PETA (People for Ethical Treatment Of Animals) this week. The animal rights organization is alleging that Just Born’s flagship confection is made with real chicken. Peeps is a marshmallow candy shaped like baby chicks, it is most popular around the Easter Holiday.

PETA is filing a lawsuit in Federal Court to halt the production of Peeps, under false ingredient listing. They have also followed the filing with an aggressive campaign of protests targeting stores where the candy is sold.

PETA spokesperson Sandie Kahn spoke to The Fazzler about the campaign.

“Well as a lover of Peeps, I’m a vegan. I’m not only offended, but I feel violated,” said Kahn. ” I ate that poor helpless chicken without realizing it was made with meat, did I mention that I’m a vegan? Because I’m one.”

We then told Kahn, who is a vegan, that Peeps also contain Gelatin, an animal product that is listed on the ingredient list.

“Oh…oh my God, I’ve lived a lie!” screamed Kahn, who began rocking back and forth. “I’m a vegan, I’m a vegan, I’m a vegan. Vegan.”

Just Born Foods plant manager Tom Delay released a statement this morning.

“It is with a heavy heart that I admit that we have indeed added real chicken meat to our product Peeps. We have fallen on hard times and it was a cost cutting measure to help remain profitable. We really didn’t think anyone would notice, who actually eats them?”

No word on whether the popular Nevada County Facebook Group Nevada County Peeps is also made of chicken, but insiders say it’s plausible.

Cleveland Sam
Cleveland Sam
Cleveland Sam, born Sam C. Sharpe, is a hero, a hero to anyone who knows him in Ohio. At the mere age of 7, he rescued a small girl from the clutches of a herd of llamas outside his boyhood home of Cleveland, OH. By the age of 12, he had already rescued over 14 children from near deaths ranging from freak ice cream truck accidents, to drownings in neighbors' Dough Boy Pools. But his heroism didn't stop at youth. No sir. As a teenager, he saved the entire cheerleading squad of his local high school from certain death with their "party van" caught fire during a local "rager." He writes for Gish Gallop because he feels he needs to rescue it. He's probably correct.

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