Priest Blames Fluoride In Water For Pedophilia

Monsignor William Lynn says Father O'Brien's condition might be due to fluoride in tap water.
Monsignor William Lynn says Father O’Brien’s condition might be due to fluoride in tap water.

Philadelphia, PA — The Catholic Church has been subject to hundreds of lawsuits alleging sexual misconduct by Priests. In those cases, many have gone to prison while some were simply moved to a different diocese. Father Steve O’Brien, an Irish Priest serving in the Philadelphia Diocese, was arrested in January and is standing trial on 40 counts of child molestation. Monsignor William Lynn, who has been in and out of prison for hiding evidence linked to priest pedophilia, says Father O’Brien’s condition might be due to fluoride in tap water.

The defense, which seems to be a last-ditch effort to keep both men out of jail, seems far-fetched according to people close to the District Attorney’s office. However that didn’t stop O’Brien’s lawyer for pushing the issue. The Fazzler spoke to Father O’Brien’s lawyer, Pat Callahan.

“My client drank 8 glasses of tap water for 45 years, what did you expect to happen?” Callahan explained, “It affected his brain development. I cannot believe they are persecuting my client when there are so many other water drinking pedophiles running loose in our country.”

Phone calls to the FDA regarding this matter have gone unanswered.

Cleveland Sam
Cleveland Sam
Cleveland Sam, born Sam C. Sharpe, is a hero, a hero to anyone who knows him in Ohio. At the mere age of 7, he rescued a small girl from the clutches of a herd of llamas outside his boyhood home of Cleveland, OH. By the age of 12, he had already rescued over 14 children from near deaths ranging from freak ice cream truck accidents, to drownings in neighbors' Dough Boy Pools. But his heroism didn't stop at youth. No sir. As a teenager, he saved the entire cheerleading squad of his local high school from certain death with their "party van" caught fire during a local "rager." He writes for Gish Gallop because he feels he needs to rescue it. He's probably correct.

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