Rand Paul Salutes Dead Kids For Dying For Your Liberty

Bowling Green, KY — Republican Senator Rand Paul took to the Senator floor thanking the dead children of the recent Texas school shooting for “taking one for team liberty.” The comments were made following impassioned speeches from several Democrats to enact strict gun control measures.

“The tree of liberty can’t stand without sacrifice,” said Mr. Paul, speaking to a stunned Senate chamber. “All people who give their lives to the temple of freedom deserve our respect and honor. It’s terrible that innocent lives are lost. No one disagrees with that. But the sanctimony of liberty must be preserved at all costs.”

Just before what many call an insensitive and outrageous speech, Senator Paul met senior leaders of the National Rifle Association and huddled on a conference call to consider canceling their upcoming convention, scheduled just days later and a few miles away from the latest school shooting.

“Everything we do here has a downside,” NRA official Heady Robinson said, according to more than one congressional aide who insisted on anonymity. “Don’t anybody kid yourself about this great macho thing of going down there and showing our chest and how damn tough we are. We are in deep shit on this deal. And anything we do here will be a matter of trying to decide the best of many very, very bad choices.”

Mr. Paul agreed and said, “he would take care of it.”

When reached for comment, Senator Paul declined to speak to the press.

Randall 'fink' Finkelstein
Randall 'fink' Finkelsteinhttps://www.broadstreetbeacon.com
Fink is a man of many words, and many web links. He likes to argue and seldom loses. Mostly because he’s well informed. And somewhat gassy.

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