New Study Claims Girls Just Wanna Have Fun

Palo Alto, CA — A four-year study sponsored by the Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation and conducted by the Palo Alto, Californa-based Rundex Family Foundation found that the overwhelming number of girls just wanna have fun.

“Well, the data doesn’t lie,” commented lead researcher Robert Colvin from his Mountain View, CA, home office. “Even we were surprised by the number of girls who just wanna have fun. We were expecting high numbers, no doubt, but not this high.”

Of the 420,000 girls who were surveyed, a whopping 96.6% said that they either wanna have fun or just wanna have fun. 3% said they didn’t wanna have fun, and 0.4% answered with a picture of a heart.

“Yeah, we haven’t seen results this high since our 2016 study on bath care products,” continued Mr. Colvin. “It certainly true now. And we can prove it. Girls, they wanna have fun.”

Out on the streets of the San Francisco Bay, many girls anecdotally confirmed the study’s results.

I come home in the morning light, and my mother says ‘when you gonna live your life right?’,” said 22-year-old Marin County native Jessa Sanders. “And I just tell her mother, dear, we’re not the fortunate ones. So I guess us girls, wanna have fun.”

When the workday was done, we spoke to several girls who shared Jessa’s sentiment.

“Look, Some boys take a beautiful girl and hide her away from the rest of the world,” said Carol Kent, leaving her Market Street Office in San Francisco, CA. “But I want to be the one to walk in the sun. I mean, don’t you? That’s all they really want.”

Roy Riffle
Roy Rifflehttps://www.facebook.com/roy.riffle.5
Our youngest columnist, Roy Riffle gained fortune, though not necessarily fame, when at 9 years old he coined the phrase "Obey Your Thirst". Some of his smugness stems from "having read the bible and understanding the metaphors." Roy is currently the only Millennial on Gish Gallop payroll. And hopefully the last.

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