Articles by

Roy Riffle

Our youngest columnist, Roy Riffle gained fortune, though not necessarily fame, when at 9 years old he coined the phrase "Obey Your Thirst". Some of his smugness stems from "having read the bible and understanding the metaphors." Roy is currently the only Millennial on Gish Gallop payroll. And hopefully the last.

Sotheby’s To Auction Off Original Prototype of MyPillow

Sotheby’s stuns with a once-in-a-lifetime auction, offering the original MyPillow prototype—purportedly stuffed with the essence of the American dream—set to redefine luxury sleep and history, one overpriced, patriotically infused bid at a time.

Origins of Funky Smell at Sacramento Goodwill Yet to Be Found

The unmistakable funk wafting through the aisles of a local Goodwill has left shoppers wrinkling their noses in disgust and curiosity. Despite a thorough investigation, the source of the smell remains as elusive as a bargain in peak thrifting season.

Holographic Kurt Cobain to Appear at 2024 CES in Las Vegas

After what people are calling the most successful and exciting Consumer Electronics Show (CES) in 2023, organizers of the yearly festival have announced that rock legend Kurt Cobain will close out the 2024 3-day event in holographic form sponsored by Samsung.

Area Man To Lawfully Wed The Constitution

Area community activist, Tea Party member and formerly overly enthusiastic Glenn Beck supporter Brock Whalen announced on his website that he plans on lawfully wedding the United States Constitution.

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